Slouching Towards Oblivion

Showing posts with label godliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label godliness. Show all posts

Saturday, June 01, 2019

Fake Lord Have Mercy


I'd really like it if this god joker could show up and fry one of these Christo-Jagoffs.

If I could count on that happening - even just once in a while - I might have to consider going back to church.

Friendly Atheist:

In 2016, Pastor B.J. Blackburn of Kentucky’s Elevate Church received national attention as the owner of a pizza chain called Giovanni’s of Prestonsburg because he made it very clear he ran a Christian establishment. He played Christian music over the speakers, put Bible verses on his receipts, and didn’t care who complained about it.
“We, here at Giovanni’s of Prestonsburg are unapologetically a Christ-based business that runs and operates with Christian values and principles. We wholeheartedly believe that we have been blessed the way that we have because of the goodness of God. We understand that this is not the view of every customer and/or business owner and we are not trying to push this view on anybody,” Blackburn wrote (in a now-deleted Facebook post).
You know where this post is going already, don’t you…?

Of course you do.

He’s a Christian who can’t stop telling you how Christian he is. This can only end one way. (Wait for the twist.)
Bobby “BJ” Blackburn is charged with using an electronic device to try to get a minor to engage in sexual activities. Police said he messaged an employee, who was a minor, and asked her to engage in a “threesome” with another minor, among other obscene messages.
On May 25, police said Blackburn followed a third minor to the station where she tried to give a statement saying she sent the obscene messaged from Blackburn’s phone. But when they questioned her further, she took back her statement and admitted that Blackburn told her to say it or she would lose her job.
Police tried obtaining Blackburn’s phone, but he allegedly threw it in a river. Like all innocent people do.

So if I have this right, Blackburn is now known for allegedly soliciting an underage girl for sex, destroying evidence, obstructing justice… and Jesus. Sounds about right.

If convicted, he faces up to five years in jail.

Should make for a fascinating sermon this Sunday.



Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Any True Christian

You have to have heard about this already, so I'll just pop my bit in here.

                       

Cindy Castano Swannack is a great example of a Shopping-List Christian who thinks Jesus is really just god's customer service rep; somebody you get in touch with whenever you need to put the bite on the almighty for a favor (which is why they all go to god's house on his day off, btw). She's absolutely sure she knows everything about her lord and savior while actually knowing next to nothing.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Prayers

Remember this one?  
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Yeah - uhm - fuck that.  Try this one instead:
May God bless us with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that we may live from deep within our hearts.
May God bless us with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of God's creations
So that we may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless us with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war,
So that we may reach out our hands to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless us with just enough foolishness
To believe that we can make a difference in the world,
So that we can do what others claim cannot be done:
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and all our neighbors who are poor.
Amen, muthahfuckah.

hat tip = The Professional Left podcast, episode 150