Taoism: Shit happens
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage.
Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturday.
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I just work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, knock, "Shit happens".
Judaism: Why does this shit happen to me?
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, Rama Rama Ding Dong - here, have a flower.
Atheism: No shit.
Televangelism: Send more shit.
Rastafarian: We should smoke this shit.
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