Why God didn’t get tenure.
- He’s had only one major publication
- It included no references
- It was written in at least 3 foreign languages, one of which has been dead for 1800 years.
- It wasn’t peer-reviewed
- There is some reason to suspect he didn’t write it himself
- He claims to have created the world, but his results can't be replicated, it was a least 6000 years ago, and he hasn’t done much since then anyway
- He refuses to cooperate with, or even acknowledge his colleagues
- He never cleared it with the Ethics Board before using human subjects
- When one of his early experiments failed, he attempted to cover it up by drowning all the subjects
- Subjects not behaving as expected are often simply deleted from the sample (rumors abound that he expelled his first 2 students for their reluctance to attend class in the nude)
- He rarely shows up in his classroom (students are told “just read the book”), prompting allegations that he’s had his son teach his class
- His office hours are irregular, there have been many complaints about his being unresponsive to communications, and meetings with him generally require mountain climbing
- Although there are only 10 basic requirements for his course, nearly all of his students fail, and his disciplinary actions are severe
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