Slouching Towards Oblivion

Thursday, November 29, 2012

God As Teacher


Why God didn’t get tenure.
  • He’s had only one major publication
  • It included no references
  • It was written in at least 3 foreign languages, one of which has been dead for 1800 years.
  • It wasn’t peer-reviewed
  • There is some reason to suspect he didn’t write it himself
  • He claims to have created the world, but his results can't be replicated, it was a least 6000 years ago, and he hasn’t done much since then anyway
  • He refuses to cooperate with, or even acknowledge his colleagues
  • He never cleared it with the Ethics Board before using human subjects
  • When one of his early experiments failed, he attempted to cover it up by drowning all the subjects
  • Subjects not behaving as expected are often simply deleted from the sample (rumors abound that he expelled his first 2 students for their reluctance to attend class in the nude)
  • He rarely shows up in his classroom (students are told “just read the book”), prompting allegations that he’s had his son teach his class
  • His office hours are irregular, there have been many complaints about his being unresponsive to communications, and meetings with him generally require mountain climbing
  • Although there are only 10 basic requirements for his course, nearly all of his students fail, and his disciplinary actions are severe
(hat tip = Fail Blog)

No comments:

Post a Comment