Slouching Towards Oblivion

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May 8, 2013

A Quick Look

I'd like to talk to you for a minute about that sign in your yard.


Let's pretend I'm a burglar.  And let's say I'm not stupid - after all, I'm reading that sign out front of your house, and I'm not in jail.

What might I be able to surmise from your very clever public pronouncements?

I think first (and in no particular order), maybe you don't really have guns, and you're just trying to sucker me into going next door.  So I'm inclined to pick our house.

Second - if you do have guns, and you post that information on a sign in your front yard, then I'm thinking you might have a pretty good collection of higher-quality firearms - maybe some rare or antique weapons to boot; and you being Mr Personal Responsibility and all, you'll have most of them conveniently stored in a central location in your house.  And since guns are really valuable and really easy to move on the black market (and very hard to trace, partly because you keep voting against anything that might make it easier for the cops to recover them for you), I'm inclined to pick your house - again - 2 for 2.  And try to remember that I have some time here - I'm not coming into your house for a gunfight - I'm gonna wait until you're out somewhere.

Third - those rotten "Librul" neighbors; the ones you seriously don't give a fuck about? The ones you want the crooks to rob - apparently so it'll teach 'em a good lesson or some such wingnut bullshit?  What exactly do you expect from them in return - when it's your place that just got trashed by the bad guys?  You get what you give, sunshine.

Last:  in my admittedly limited experience, the guy walkin' around goin', "Hey everybody - I've got a big dick" - that's usually a guy who actually has a big dick.  But the guy braggin' about his gun usually has some kinda trouble with his penis.  Just sayin'.

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