Today's Facebook Wingnut

This came across from an ex-FB-Friend (which was commented on by a current FB Friend, which is how it showed up where I could see it), and it's what everybody used to get in an email that had enough "FWD"s and "RE:"s attached to it that it looked like god's own phone book.

I took a break from this shit for a while, but sometimes, I just cain't hep muhsef.

code = the Wingnutty Nonsense is in black, and my oh-so-clever rebuttals are in blue.  You prob'ly coulda guessed that much so I'll step aside and let you reap the benefit of my extraordinary wit.


So anyway - for old times' sake I guess:

Free people are not equal. Equal people are not free.

Because this is a nation of, by, & for thoughtless dolts who can’t think beyond simplistic bumper stickers.

"A gun is like a parachute. If you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again."

When was the last time some kid killed his little brother with a parachute that accidentally worked exactly the way it was supposed to work?  Please take a bit more care in choosing your analogies.

The definition of the word Conundrum is: something that is puzzling or confusing.

Well, not really - a conundrum is a difficult or confusing problem - one with no simple solution.  I’m sensing you're about to encounter some trouble getting your “logic” to connect up (especially when you leave out a fairly important piece of your premise), but anyway, please do continue.

Here are six Conundrums of socialism in the United States of America:

1. America is capitalist and greedy - yet half of the population is subsidized.

We can leave aside your apparent ignorance of Latin plurals - no need to get overly pedantic - and concentrate on translating that sentence for ya: The ruling and elitist top ½% of America is capitalist and greedy - and so half of the population is in need of being subsidized.

2. Half of the population is subsidized - yet they think they are victims.

Actually, they know full well they’re being preyed upon and victimized by a class structure kept in place by a ruling and elitist ½%, so we're not sure why you keep flogging that particular (and particularly dead) horse.

3. They think they are victims - yet their representatives run the government.

“Their” representatives are bought and paid for by the ½%.

4. Their representatives run the government - yet the poor keep getting poorer.

(see #3 above, and suddenly we know exactly why they’re getting poorer)

5. The poor keep getting poorer - yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

So, you’re threatening to make people’s lives even worse if they don’t kiss your ass?  And in slightly different terms: You're gonna shit on my head, and then I'm supposed to say, "thanks for the hat".  Is that it?

6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about - yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

This is called Cherry Picking - there’re plenty of other countries where “regular” people are a helluva lot better off than they are here, and it’s mostly because they know that Government by Economic System is a really stupid idea that’s never worked as advertised. Ever.

And BTW, we’re pretty sure nobody but you wants things to get any worse (see #5 above).

Think about it! And that, my friends, pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st Century.

Makes you wonder who is doing the math.

And that, my friends pretty much sums up why you're not going to arrive at a true conclusion when you start from a false premise.  

These three, short sentences tell you a lot about the direction of our current government and cultural environment:

1. We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics. Funny how that works.

Tell ya what, Quickdraw, get the numbers of Gun Deaths in America down around the numbers of Terrorism Deaths in America, and then we can talk.

2. Seems we constantly hear about how Social Security is going to run out of money. But we never hear about welfare or food stamps running out of money? What's interesting is the first group "worked for" their money, but the second didn't.

This is the “entitlement” bit, right? OK, so how hard did you work to be born into middle-class white suburban America?  You’ve been cashin’ in on that one for a good long time - what did you do to earn the life-long privileges of that randomly fortuitous event?  

Think about it.....and last but not least:

3. Why are we cutting benefits for our veterans, no pay raises for our military and cutting our army to a level lower than before WWII, but we are not stopping the payments or benefits to illegal aliens.

Make up your friggin’ mind, ditzoid.  Belly-ache about spending too much, or belly-ache about not spending enough.  You don’t get to occupy both positions at the same time.  

Oh, wait - you do wanna spend a shitload of tax dollars on “your guys”, which of course benefits you and yours because you’re totally entitled to be dependent on funneling those tasty tax dollars into your own pockets by way of your uber-patriotic National Security Inc.  

But really, you just can’t stand spending anything on “those people”.  Yeah. We get it.  Known about that one for a while now.  Think about getting some new material.

And speaking of new material - here's some that isn't new at all, but it's so good I can't stop listening to it.