Today's Today

(Tomorrow, actually - I just wanted to give y'all the heads up so you don't miss something important)

Happy Go Topless Day, everybody.

Not that I'm obsessed or anything.

99 Words For Boobs
Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds 
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas 
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors 
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors 
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice 
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights 
Every day I probably use 
99 words for boobs 

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys 
Double lattes, Ode to Joys 
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors 
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters 
Double-WMD's 
MRE's and PFD's 
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes 
99 words for boobs 

Gerber servers, holy grails 
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales 
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers 
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers 
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos 
Soft-serve cones and armadillos 
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes 
99 words for boobs 

Midget earmuffs, warming globes 
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes 
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers 
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers 
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs 
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs 
Jogging partners, saline noobs 
99 words for boobs 

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers 
Rubber baby buggy bumpers 
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas 
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas 
Congo bongos, bowling pins 
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins

And More
1. Abbott and Costello
2. airbags
3. B1 and B2
4. babaloos
5. baby feeders
6. badoinkies
7. balloons
8. baloobas
9. baps
10. bazookas
11. bazoomas
12. bazoombas
13. bee-stings
14. Ben and Jerry
15. Bert and Ernie
16. Berthas
17. bijongas
18. billibongs
19. blinkers
20. Bob and Ray
21. bombs
22. Bonnie and Clyde
23. boobs
24. boobies
25. boobsters
26. boops
27. bosoms
28. bottles
29. boulders
30. Brad Pitts
31. bristols
32. bumpers
33. cans
34. cantaloupes
35. cha-chas
36. chesticles
37. chumbawumbas
38. coconuts
39. cupcakes
40. dairy pillows
41. Danny DeVitos
42. David and Goliath
43. devil's dumplings
44. dinglebobbers
45. dugs
46. dumplings
47. Durantes
48. Eartha Kitts
49. Eisenhowers
50. flapdoodles
51. Fred and Ethel
52. funbags
53. gazongas
54. George and Gracie
55. gobstoppers
56. God’s milk bottles
57. Godzillas
58. Goodyears
59. goombas
60. grillwork
61. headlamps
62. headlights
63. high beams
64. Holmes and Watson
65. honkers
66. hood ornaments
67. hooters
68. hubcaps
69. hummers
70. Isaac Newtons
71. jahoobies
72. John and Paul
73. jugs
74. kagemushas
75. kawangas
76. knockers
77. Lewinskis
78. Lilo and Stitch
79. magambos
80. Mahatmas
81. mammaries
82. mau maus
83. melons
84. Mickey and Minnie
85. Mike and Ike
86. milk bombs
87. milk jugs
88. milk wagons
89. milkmakers
90. milkshakes
91. Mobutus
92. mounds
93. muffins
94. Mulligans
95. Murphys
96. nay-nays
97. neeners
98. ninnies
99. norks
100. num-nums
101. pair
102. palookas
103. Pia Zadoras
104. pillows
105. puppies
106. pushmatahas
107. rack
108. rib bumpers
109. rivets
110. rotors
111. shabba-dos
112. shlobes
113. shmozobs
114. snow tires
115. soombas
116. speed bumps
117. splazoingas
118. squachies
119. tatas
120. teetees
121. Thelma and Louise
122. tishomingos
123. tits
124. titties
125. torpedoes
126. Tweedledee and Tweedledum
127. tweeters
128. twekkers
129. Volvos
130. wahwahs
131. whimwhams
132. Wilsons
133. windshield wipers
134. Winnebagos
135. wopbopaloobops
136. yahoos
137. yazoos138. ying-yangs