COVID-19 Update

World

New Cases:   746,394 (⬆︎ .81%)

New Deaths:    16,445 (⬆︎ .83%) 💥 New Record!

USA 

New Cases:   236,462 (⬆︎ 1.01%)

New Deaths:      4,098 (⬆︎ 1.05%)

WaPo:

It’s okay if you skipped resolutions in 2021. Cut yourself some slack, experts say.

The new calendar year historically signals a fresh start, as illustrated by the custom of setting resolutions to become better versions of ourselves. But as 2020 has given way to 2021, bringing with it the uncertainty, anxiety and fear many Americans had been desperate to leave behind, experts say it’s fine if you jettisoned traditional resolutions this year.

“There are times where we’re in flux, and it won’t be so easy to come up with solutions that will stick, and I think this is one of those times,” said Wendy Wood, a social psychologist and author of “Good Habits, Bad Habits.”

Instead, Wood and other experts are encouraging people to modify their approaches to goal-setting this year and prioritize self-compassion.

About 40 percent of adults in the United States, or 140 million people, make New Year’s resolutions each year, said University of Scranton psychology professor John Norcross, citing data from multiple studies he has co-authored. While resolutions are often phrased positively, Norcross said, they nevertheless create expectations for behavior, which can become a burden.

Try setting micro-goals, or tasks that you know you could probably achieve, Dattilo said. Although the accomplishment may be “low-hanging fruit,” you can still experience the benefit of dopamine, the reward neurochemical, she noted.

“Don’t underestimate the value of these small wins because they add up over time” and can help keep you motivated, she said. “If you’re waiting until the end to achieve that ultimate goal, it’s really unlikely that you’re going to get there unless you have set yourself up for success along the way.”

It also may be beneficial to set resolutions that could have a positive impact on people other than yourself, or goals that reduce burdens, such as resolving to limit time spent watching the news, Norcross said. Those types of resolutions are “far less common in the United States,” he added.

What if you just want to survive 2021? “It’s a reasonable goal,” Dattilo said. “We don’t want to put a lot of added pressure on ourselves to ultimately just end up feeling disappointed again because we didn’t meet a particular goal,” she added. “Let yourself off the hook, give yourself permission to just experience without the added pressure to change or perform.”

Taylor agrees. “It’s okay to say, ‘I just kind of want to get through the day.’ Maybe this year the goal is, ‘Let me find a little bit of stability, a little bit of calm, a little bit of peace, and let’s go from there. Let’s get ready for 2022.’ ”

Andrea Brown, executive director of the Black Mental Health Alliance, said the organization decided to forgo posting about resolutions for 2021 and is instead encouraging people, particularly those in Black and other marginalized communities, to focus on self-care. People of color have not only been disproportionately impacted by the events of 2020, they are also historically unaccustomed to taking the time to care for themselves, Brown said.

“The real road to recovery for the Black community and other marginalized communities is really embracing the practice of radical self-care,” said Brown. She likens this form of self-care to the instruction parents get on airplanes to put on their own oxygen masks before helping their children.

Brown notes that the process is individual and goes deeper than getting your hair done or treating yourself to a manicure. “It is, ‘I am, above all else, taking care of myself spiritually, psychologically, mentally, physically.’ ” If a person starts there, “then maybe next year you’ll really be ready for resolutions,” she said.

However you choose to set goals this year, experts emphasized the importance of being kinder and more forgiving to yourself if you don’t meet them. “It’s a tough time out there,” Norcross said. “Just cut yourself some slack.”

There is also no reason to think you needed to come up with resolutions at the beginning of the year, experts said. “It doesn’t really feel like 2020 has ended, so it’s kind of hard to see where that demarcation point is,” Dattilo said. “Maybe we need to pick a different month or a different event that sort of symbolizes the transition that we often associate with New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day.”

Brown urged people to “dare to do something different” this year. “The last 11 months, everything has changed.”