George Carlin 1937 - 2008
I wanna live my life backwards.
You start out dead - get that out of the way.
Wake up in a nursing home, feeling better every day.
Then they kick you out for being too healthy, enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day, and you work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for high school - drink, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then ... you spend your last nine months floating peacefully in spa-like conditions - central heating and room service on tap.
And you finish it all off as an orgasm.
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