No, Mike

... this is not how we open a letter to the leader of a foreign country.

You don't get to make any public demands on how a foreign government staffs its administration, because you're not the one calling the foreign policy shots.

You want Zelensky to make a change? Pick up the phone and call POTUS, you ignorant fuck.

Jesus - did you sleep thru all of your Civics and Government classes?

Try this instead - it's more honest and straightforward.

Dear President Zelensky,

 

My boss has his thumb up my ass and he assures me that I'm about to lose bowel function if I don't lick his boots exactly the way he wants me to.

So please - do what he says - this is very uncomfortable.

Sycofantically yours his,

Mike "The Salad Tosser" Johnson