Slouching Towards Oblivion

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

That Guy In The Funny Hat

So there's lots of buzz about why The-Pope-Formerly-Known-As-Ratburger would just up and quit the sweetest gig in all of Christendom.

I'll give ya'll my take on it, right after you enjoy a picture of all the fucks I give about Popes and other power freaks who like to manipulate people by threatening them with the reprisals of their imaginary friends:

Before he became Pope Benedict 16, Cardinal Ratzinger was the Catholic Church's  Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (aka The Inquisition - and yes, that Inquisition).  He also took it onto himself to have all of those inconvenient reports of priestly child molesting referred to his office so they could be thoroughly investigated (ie: crushed, sprinkled in lime and then buried).  So lemme see - the guy who knows where all those bodies are buried and which closets contain which creepy skeletons; the guy who knows everything about every member of the church hierarchy; the guy who handled the scandals so well it only cost the church $2 Billion in settlement payments (so far, that we know of) - that's the guy who gets elected Pope because of his supremely holy goodness and his outstanding moral excellence.  Horse shit.

And now, he's having a tough time keeping up with the busy schedule of Church Royalty so he steps humbly aside, wanting to leave it to someone with more energy and better capability of withstanding the rigors blah blah blah.

If you buy any of that, I've got a stud mule you'll be interested in too.

Fugelsang has a more complete wrap-up:

1 comment:

  1. Hey, Mr. Pope. The Thirteenth Century called. They want their ideas back.
    Ice-pick-in-the-ribs funny. I'm sending it around.
    Thanks,
    JR

    ReplyDelete