Slouching Towards Oblivion

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Dear Mr Hurt

I'm on the mailing list of my congress critter, and he sends me this kinda crap every week.



My reply:

Mr Hurt -

Your little update is chock-full of passive language, and if you were paying any attention at all in English Comp class in high school, you'd know that another way of saying "passive language" is this: bullshit.

You guys in the House took the hostages - you shut down the government, and you're threatening default. But you insist on painting yourself as either an innocent bystander, or some kind of victim of the bad ol' Democrats. But no matter how hard you try to spin it, people are finally getting hip to your tricks. 74% of us know you're lying to us when you say the ridiculous things you've said (eg) in this email. And what's even worse is the simple fact that you're willing to spend so much time and energy lying to yourselves as well. That horse is dead - you can stop beating it now.

There are certain things normal people just kinda know without having to be told, but apparently, you're in need of a reminder, so here's the short list:
Never piss into the wind.
Never pet a burning dog.
And never ever negotiate with hostage takers.

I look forward to the time you're selling shoes down at the mall.

Mike Roberts
434.960.8698
evillemike2009@gmail.com

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