It Comes Wrapped In The Flag

I love the flag so much, I cut holes in it so I could rub my sweaty armpits all over it.

I love wild animals so much, I bait them into traps and kill them and mount their heads on my wall so I can love them some more.

I love the natural world so much, I cut down the trees so I can see it better from my hot tub.

I love people so much, I keep their wages below poverty level so they can better appreciate the intrinsic rewards of hard work.

I love democracy so much, I want to make sure only those who are truly worthy of it are allowed to participate in it.

I love this big beautiful country so much, I wanna keep it all to myself, and I'm willing to shoot you dead if you say I have to share any of it with anybody who isn't just like me.

and on and on and on

hat tip = theatlantic.com