Dara Lind, Vox:
When it comes to relationships with people, it turns out, Trump is even more mercurial. He blows up at even the people he generally has good relationships with, like Chief of Staff John Kelly; after one early eruption, according to Glenn Thrush and Maggie Haberman of the New York Times, Kelly later told colleagues “that he had never been spoken to like that during 35 years of serving his country.”
But Trump never stays mad. Even the things that seem like permanent grudges, like his anger with Attorney General Jeff Sessions over Sessions recusing himself from the DOJ Russia probe, turn out to be tantrums that can be waited out. (According to Politico, Trump wanted Sessions fired, but his aides successfully used delaying tactics to keep it from happening.)
“Donald Trump never truly severs relationships. There is always a dialogue,” confidant Chris Reddy told Politico.
It’s worth thinking through the consequences of what that means. Trump blows up at everyone around him as a matter of course, but he also doesn’t expect those things to damage his relationships permanently. He expects the people he interacts with to understand that he doesn’t really hate them even though he yells at them — to absorb the abuse as simply part of the job, and move on.
The profile of a bully is almost always rife with cycles of Calm and then Rage and then Calm again - does the phrase "calm before the storm" ring a bell? It should.
And what makes it all the more scary is that bullies (ie: abusers) almost always have a kind of likability to them that makes it difficult for victims to separate fully.
I know, it's all a big-ass cliché, but that just means it's old and obvious, not untrue.
This doesn't get better for a while.
When it comes to relationships with people, it turns out, Trump is even more mercurial. He blows up at even the people he generally has good relationships with, like Chief of Staff John Kelly; after one early eruption, according to Glenn Thrush and Maggie Haberman of the New York Times, Kelly later told colleagues “that he had never been spoken to like that during 35 years of serving his country.”
But Trump never stays mad. Even the things that seem like permanent grudges, like his anger with Attorney General Jeff Sessions over Sessions recusing himself from the DOJ Russia probe, turn out to be tantrums that can be waited out. (According to Politico, Trump wanted Sessions fired, but his aides successfully used delaying tactics to keep it from happening.)
“Donald Trump never truly severs relationships. There is always a dialogue,” confidant Chris Reddy told Politico.
It’s worth thinking through the consequences of what that means. Trump blows up at everyone around him as a matter of course, but he also doesn’t expect those things to damage his relationships permanently. He expects the people he interacts with to understand that he doesn’t really hate them even though he yells at them — to absorb the abuse as simply part of the job, and move on.
The profile of a bully is almost always rife with cycles of Calm and then Rage and then Calm again - does the phrase "calm before the storm" ring a bell? It should.
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| 45* teasing a cliffhanger while those around him try hard to pretend they're not praying for a well-placed malignant tumor |
There's also a very pronounced element of Punching Down and Failing Up - or at least Failing Forward.
And what makes it all the more scary is that bullies (ie: abusers) almost always have a kind of likability to them that makes it difficult for victims to separate fully.
I know, it's all a big-ass cliché, but that just means it's old and obvious, not untrue.
This doesn't get better for a while.
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