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Feb 23, 2025

About That Memo



Government agencies have no idea what to do about Musk’s email

An email sent to 2.3 million workers asking them to outline their work last week is leading to confusion and differing instructions across the government.

The State Department told employees not to answer it. Employees at the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency were told: Definitely reply. And in some parts of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, staffers received instructions to draft a response but not send it yet.

After Elon Musk led a move to email all 2.3 million government workers over the weekend asking them to share five bullet points detailing what they accomplished last week, chaos and confusion reigned. Agencies issued conflicting guidance, as did different divisions within the same agency, in some cases.

Raising the stakes, Musk warned in a post on X that any employee who failed to respond would be treated as having resigned. But the email sent to workers made no mention of this possible consequence, which lawyers said would be illegal.

- more -

I don't work a government job, but I'm always looking to be of service to my country, so I consider myself "on the job" pretty much all the time.

So, of course, I felt the need to "comply", and I emailed this to hr@opm.gov:
 
Per your directive via email this evening (2-22-2025), here are the bullet points you requested, regarding my activities for the week ending 2-21-2025
  • Picked the fly shit out of my pepper shaker
  • Did some laundry
  • Finished knitting a turtleneck sock
  • Downloaded several clips of nude celebrities
  • Went to the grocery store, and stopped at the 7-11 for a Power Ball ticket
  • Made cheese dip - yummy, btw
  • Noodled around on my new guitar (I'm learning another Dylan tune)
  • Karened some random lady about picking up her dog's shit in the park
  • Sent several postcards to the White House asking President Musk to fire that loser Trump guy
Your pal,

Mike
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