The Tourist Blight

When I was a kid, the lore was that Black Bear Pass killed a few people every few years.

Then they kinda Flat-Lander-ized it, and now the thing mostly just kills a tourist's rent-a-car once in a while.

If you fuck up and give it a chance, the mountain will kill you.

Hey, Everyone: Look at This Stupid Kia Telluride, Stuck in Telluride

Truck and SUV commercials love showing their vehicles scaling high mountain peaks and ancient temples, but most dirt roads and mountain trails are simply too much for the average driver. Just look at this moron who got a Kia Telluride stuck on Black Bear Pass outside Telluride.

In an October 1 announcement on social media, the San Miguel County Sheriff’s Office shared photos of a white Kia Telluride SUV high-centered on the side of the mountain trail. According to the post, the man was from South Carolina and drove up the one-way road “despite being advised not to do so by people in the area.”

The driver of the high-centered vehicle was from South Carolina, according to law enforcement.

The incident left the vehicle “unstable,” and as a result Black Bear Pass and parts of the nearby Bridal Veil Road are closed indefinitely, the sheriff’s office adds.

“The vehicle requires tow, and it is unknown at this point when this can happen. Bridal Veil Road up to the Falls is also closed just past the parking lot which prohibits access to the Via Ferrata. Bridal Veil Trail will remain open,” the post notes.

In the battle of Tellurides, always choose the mountain. Didn’t Game of Thrones teach us anything?

Colorado’s mountain ranges have swallowed cars and driver dignity before. In 2023, the driver of a GMC Canyon pickup truck got stuck on an undriveable path in Park County, near the 14,178-foot summit of Mount Bross. Thanks to a Bobcat loader vehicle, the truck, registered in Arkansas, was recovered in about a week.

Adapt Improvise Overcome

US man puts phone on drone to send rescue message

When a US motorist got stuck in the snow on a remote road in Oregon, he used sky-high thinking to save himself.

After realising he was without mobile phone reception, he typed a text message to a trusted person showing his exact location, attached the phone to a drone and launched it several hundred feet into the air.

The airborne phone sent his message for help once it found signal.

Rescuers praised the man for making "several smart decisions".

The man, who has not been identified, was in the Willamette National Forest on a road that is not maintained in the winter.

After his vehicle got stuck, he realised there was no cell phone reception - making matters worse "his family was out of the country and nobody knew where he had gone" according to the Lane County Sheriff Search and Rescue.

"Regardless of the circumstances leading to his situation, once stranded this person made several smart decisions," Lane County Sheriff Search and Rescue said in a statement.

First, he stayed in his car.

"Rarely does anyone in Oregon die from exposure waiting in their vehicle to be found and rescued," the statement said.

"But we have unfortunately seen many poor outcomes from those who chose to walk away."

After attaching his phone to a drone, "the increased elevation allowed his phone to connect to a tower" and send his message for help.

His ingenuity allowed for rescue teams to deploy and assist him out of the situation.

While teams were rescuing the man, they also rescued another motorist who had been stranded for several days in the snow.

Officials said they were impressed with the man's creativity - but advised people to heed their warnings during wintertime travel.

They urged people to "always tell a responsible person exactly where you are going, and when you expect to be back".

Additionally, they said most rescue missions they have conducted this winter involved bigger vehicles, whose owners told rescuers they did not think they would get stuck.

The search and rescue team suggested: "Instead of asking yourself whether you think you can get through a section of road, ask yourself 'what will happen if I do get stuck?'"