Today's Palace Intrigue

Brian Tyler Cohen

I'm not going to jump up and down celebrating, thinking a smarmy slug like Tucker Carlson has finally had enough and is calling out the obviously rampant corruption of the GOP and blah blah blah.

I think this is classic duplicity.

It's more likely (IMO) that Carlson sees it as a good opportunity to make it look like he's "standing up for virtuous public service", while his condemnation is really all about pushing the "moderate" Richard Burr out of the way in order to make room for the far more radical Tom Cotton to step in.

This shit is never about what they tell us it's about.

2nd Amendment

Steve Hoffstetter solves the gun thing for us - because yes, there's some other shit goin' on too.

New Product

Good old Yankee ingenuity and that can-do American spirit.

Today In The Smarmocracy

Now, maybe Mr Burr might say he didn't want to cause any undue alarm, but c'mon - knowing what we know about these guys at this point, It's not unreasonable for us to demand an explanation as to how he's not just another asshole Republican sharing some inside info so his cronies can cash in while the rest of us pick up the tab.

These crooked rent-seeking pricks have to be stomped on. Hard.

Overheard

The Vatican has announced that Easter is canceled for 2020.
The Pope said, "Jesus can stay dead this year - we'll catch him up next time."

Today's Tweet

Yeah - gotta watch those asymmetric people like a hawk.

"asymmetric people are spreading this virus" pic.twitter.com/MPq6zG69GF

— Bobby Lewis (@revrrlewis) March 18, 2020

Today's Pix

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The Daddy State

Brian Tyler Cohen

Daddy State - rule 5:

They change history.

“you didn’t see what you saw"

"what happened isn’t what happened"

“I didn’t say what you heard me say”

And that Van Jones moment from Dana Bash ("the president became a president today") is classic Press Poodle bullshit.

No - he didn't grow. He didn't step up and become the leader we need him to be. There was no fucking pivot. 

Because there's never going to be a pivot. He is never going to be anything but the smarmy venal self-serving crook he's always been.

Today's PSA

PLEASE COMPLY

Currently, public health guidelines are that one's milkshake can bring only nine boys to the yard.

Painting