Slouching Towards Oblivion

Showing posts with label newspeak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label newspeak. Show all posts

Saturday, October 07, 2023

Steve Shives

Ever notice how the "anti-PC" folks are very interested in policing your language, as they require adherence to their own brand of PC? Just a thought.


Saturday, July 29, 2023

Again With The Florida?

I'll bet dollars to dingleberries that somebody in the DeSantis campaign brain trust is thinking, "Any press is good press - no such thing as bad publicity."



Opinion
Worried by Florida’s history standards? Check out its new dictionary!

Well, it’s a week with a Thursday in it, and Florida is, once again, revising its educational standards in alarming ways. Not content with removing books from shelves, or demanding that the College Board water down its AP African American studies curriculum, the state’s newest history standards include lessons suggesting that enslaved people “developed skills” for “personal benefit.” This trend appears likely to continue. What follows is a preview of the latest edition of the dictionary to be approved in Florida.

Aah: (exclamation) Normal thing to say when you enter the water at the beach, which is over 100 degrees.

Abolitionists: (noun) Some people in the 19th century who were inexplicably upset about a wonderful free surprise job training program. Today they want to end prisons for equally unclear reasons.

Abortion: (noun) Something that male state legislators (the foremost experts on this subject) believe no one ever wants under any circumstances, probably; decision that people beg the state to make for them and about which doctors beg for as little involvement as possible.

American history: (noun) A branch of learning that concerns a ceaseless parade of triumphs and contains nothing to feel bad about.

Barbie: (noun) Feminist demon enemy of the state.

Biden, Joe: (figure) Illegitimate president.

Black history: (entry not found)

Blacksmith: (noun) A great job and one that enslaved people might have had. Example sentence from Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R): “They’re probably going to show that some of the folks that eventually parlayed, you know, being a blacksmith into doing things later in life.”

Book ban: (noun) Effective way of making sure people never have certain sorts of ideas.

Censorship: (noun) When other people get mad about something you’ve said. Not to be confused with when you remove books from libraries or the state tells colleges what can and can’t be said in classrooms (both fine).

Child: (noun) Useful laborer with tiny hands; alternatively, someone whose reading cannot be censored enough.

Christian nationalism: (noun) Certainly constitutional; probably what the Founding Fathers would have preferred!

Classified: (adjective) The government’s way of saying a paper is especially interesting and you ought to have it in your house.

Climate change: (noun) Conspiracy by scientists to change all the thermometers, fill the air with smoke and then blame us.

Cocaine: (noun) A substance discovered in the White House; the only fit subject for news cycles.

Constitution: (noun) A document that can be interpreted only by Trump-appointed and/or Federalist Society judges. If the Constitution appears to prohibit something that you want to do, take the judge on a boat and try again.

Coral: (noun) Superfluous refuge for fish, others who have failed to adapt to life on land.

DeSantis, Ron: (figure) Governor who represents the ideal human being. Pronunciation varies.

Disney: (noun) A corporation, but not the good kind.

DOJ: (noun) Schrodinger’s legal entity that is both good and evil simultaneously, used for investigating legitimate country-shaking crimes (Hunter Biden possessing a firearm) and conducting illegal raids (Donald Trump kindly opening his home to some classified documents).

Election: (noun) Binding if Republicans win; otherwise, needs help from election officials who will figure out where the fraud was that prevented the election from reflecting the will of the people (that Republicans win).

Elector: (noun) Someone Mike Pence should or should not have accepted, depending.

Emancipation Proclamation: (noun) Classic example of government overreach.

Firearm: (noun) Wonderful, beautiful object that every person ought to have six of, except Hunter Biden.

Florida: God’s paradise on Earth; sometimes Ohio; see “The Courage to Be Free”! All parts of the country at once. Real estate here will only get more valuable.

FOX: News.

Free speech: (noun) When you shut up and I talk.

Gun violence: (noun) Simple, unalterable fact of life, like death but unlike taxes.

Immigration: (noun) When someone leaves their country of origin to seek a better life elsewhere; huge insult to the receiving country, to be prevented at all costs.

Independence Day: See Jan. 6.

Jan. 6: (noun) A day when some beautiful, beloved people took a nice, uneventful tour of the U.S. Capitol.

King Jr., Martin Luther: (figure) A man who, as far as we can discern, uttered only one famous quotation ever and it was about how actually anytime you tried to suggest that people were being treated differently based on skin color you were the real racist. Sample sentence: “Dr. King would be enraged at the existence of Black History Month.”

Liberty: (noun) My freedom to choose what you can read (see Moms for Liberty).

Moms for Liberty: (noun) Censors, but the good kind.

Nature: (noun) Something it is okay to boil, probably. Like soup.

Orca: (noun) Enemy of the state, vessels.

Orwellian: (adjective) When people are mad about a book written by Josh Hawley or another Republican, not when people try to erase slavery from history.

Pregnant (adjective): The state of being a vessel containing a Future Citizen; do not say “pregnant person”; no one who is a real person can get pregnant.

Queer: (entry not found)

Refugee: (noun) Someone who should have stayed put and waited for help to come.

Slavery: (noun) We didn’t invent it, or it wasn’t that bad, or it was a free job training program.

Supreme Court: (noun) Wonderful group of mostly men without whom no journey by private plane or yacht is complete.

Alexandra Petri: Supreme Court, consider justice sponsorship!

Trans: (entry not found)

United States: (noun) Perfect place, no notes.

Unfree: (adjective) The best way for thought and people to be.

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Today's Optics

This is what we call "insidious".


Sarah Huckabee Sanders is, in fact, the 47th Governor of Arkansas. And in my humble opinion, she's running for the GOP nomination to be the 47th POTUS.

There's no fluke or happy happenstance here. The subliminal messaging is simply too coincidental to be simple coincidence.

She was tagged to do the SOTU response, and DumFux News is pimping her hard.

Here, Shannon Bream serves up a whole platter of softballs for Huckabee to do the followup thing.


Some "highlights"

"Empower parents - not doing what's best for the schools, but what's best for the students."
Translation: "We will continue to encourage vigilantes to harass school boards, and my administration will capitalize on this manufactured discontent by accelerating privatization."

"Make sure we're not using culturally insensitive language"
Translation: "Make sure white people stay comfortable in their racism."

"I'm focused on delivering what we promised."
Translation: "I'll keep saying I'm thinking about my task at hand, and deliberately not say I'm not going to run for POTUS in 2024."

Nothing says "committed to my keeping my promises" quite like pretending not to be looking to renege on your commitment to serve out your 4 year term as Governor in order to plow the road back to Washington DC.

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Today's Manchin Malarky


Joe Manchin is not as stupid as he has seemed these last several months.

Joe Manchin is however feeling the heat, and starting to crumble under the pressure.

Which makes Joe Manchin look kinda stupid.


New study blows a hole in Joe Manchin's argument that the revamped child tax credit discourages people from working

A new study released Tuesday indicated that the revamped child tax credit hasn't kept people from working, blowing a hole in an argument championed by Sen. Joe Manchin of West Virginia as Democrats grapple with extending the credit as a key part of President Joe Biden's domestic agenda.

The analysis from researchers at the Center on Poverty and Social Policy at Columbia University, Barnard College and Bocconi University found "very small, inconsistently signed, and statistically insignificant impacts of the CTC" on employment and participation and the workforce.

It relied on data from the monthly Current Population Survey from earlier this year as well as the Census Household Pulse surveys that were collected from April 2021 through August 2021, the second month that the child tax credit checks were sent.

The child tax credit was overhauled in Biden's stimulus law earlier this year. From July to December, families will get a $300 monthly benefit per child age 5 and under, amounting to $3,600 this year. The one-year measure provides $250 each month per kid age 6 and 17, totaling $3,000. Half of the benefit will come as a tax refund next year.


Families with little or no tax burden can also receive the federal cash now, a sharp change from how the credit was originally structured. The latest research challenges Manchin's assertion that federal aid will keep people from seeking work as he argues against the US economy slipping into an "entitlement mentality."

Some experts cautioned against drawing definitive conclusions early in the credit's rollout. Scott Winship, a poverty expert at the right-leaning American Enterprise Institute, wrote in a tweet that "research finds that the labor supply response takes years to fully manifest, not days or months."

A strong majority of Congressional Democrats support making the changes permanent in their safety net package, citing research that it could cut child poverty by up to half and particularly among Black and Latino kids. Early research has indicated that it helped feed 2 million kids in its first month and kept 3 million out of poverty.

But Democrats are running into resistance from Manchin who wants people to work as a condition to receive the credit.

The West Virginia Democrat has been the chief advocate for imposing a work requirement on the expanded child tax credit. He argues the generous federal assistance would keep people from working.

"There's no work requirements whatsoever," he told CNN on September 12. "There's no education requirements whatsoever for better skill sets. Don't you think, if we're going to help the children, that the people should make some effort?"

He doubled down a few days later, telling Insider that "tax credits are based around people that have tax liabilities."

Some Senate Democrats shot back, including Sen. Sherrod Brown of Ohio, one of the architects of the expansion. "I think raising children is work," he told HuffPost.

Brown's comeback was OK, but it's a little outdated and misses the point. The Child Tax Credit is what allows a huge majority of parents' the "luxury" of rejoining the workforce.

Which shows up Manchin's "argument" as the usual conservative double bind claptrap:
without the tax credit, I can't afford to go to work
without the work, I can't get the tax credit

all done - gotta go


Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Growing Litany Of Stoopid


Hispanics are lazy AND stealing all the jobs. At the same time. Lazy, but also taking all the jobs because they work so much AND because they are lazy. Are you following me?

If we give all the money to the rich and don't tax them at all, eventually it will trickle down and the rich will give us back some of the money we gave them before. Totally.

Also, if we subsidize rich people and/or companies, they'll use the money wisely and they'll create jobs for all of us.  But if we subsidize poor people, they'll just piss it away and have a bunch of crack babies who grow up to be Democrats and vote themselves more government handouts.

Guns don't kill people, video games featuring guns kill people.

Tax-and-Spend is bad. Except taxes that we spend on defense contractors - then it's good because Jesus.  Anybody who disagrees is a lousy commie.