From The Other Side

Guys like Mike Pence just always seem not to understand that laws regarding anybody's rights have to ensure everybody's rights - and it doesn't matter that you didn't think of all the extreme shittiness that follows the logical progression of the effects of the law - you don't get to elevate the rights of your favorite group over the rights of any other group based solely on who they are, Mr Pence.  And the fact that you were completely in the dark about that shittiness shows how insular and beholden and captive you are to a radical cadre of Theo-Fascists.

And we're off to the races now.

I hereby do establish my religion - the Church of Our Lady of None Of Your Fuckin' Business, and I do further establish and ordain myself Lord High Inquisitor and Defender Of The Fairytale.  I will therefore go forth to impose upon the great unwashed the Holy Admonition according to The Gospel of The Coital Conifer Flower, for it is truly the foundation of faith for all who are stoopid enough to believe as I do - and judging by the current crop of idiot rubes who're more than willing to subscribe to just about any nonsense anybody can imagine as long as it allows them to feel special by slagging people they need to believe are worthy of being beaten down, my coffers will be filled beyond the dreams of Croesus in no time at all.

So here's the thing - my religion requires me to tell Gov Pence to go fuck himself with a pinecone, so the laws against public verbal assault and threatening behavior towards public officials mean nothing.  As of this summer, Indiana law requires the cops and the prosecutors to leave me alone and let me scream my silly little profanities at the governor every time I'm in earshot of him, or any of his staffers, or any of the suckers who think this stoopid law was a good idea.

But also, I wanna say it loud and clear to every eligible voter who stayed home on election day; everybody who was eager to sit on their asses while somebody else was out there doing the work of self-government.  Ya'll sat there and let this happen, so you can all go fuck yourselves with a pinecone too.

Playing The Turn-Around

It's all in the talent of the speaker to use the language of Reasonability and Anti-Theocracy in order to manipulate the crowd into 1) agreeing that what we have now is a Theocracy, and 2) since you agree that's what we have, then how can you disagree with replacing it with a better one?  Of course, he's banking on the rubes not being able to recognize the false premise, ie: that Atheism is just another religion.  

The whiplash from this kind of rhetorical gymnastics is enough to put normal people in traction.  But the rubes ain't normal people - they eat this shit up like it's 2-fer Tuesday down at Luby's.  It actually makes sense to 'em.

But in case you missed it, the kicker's up front; when he says it's not about how ol' Pappy Huck wants to be president - no - he hears the call of that god feller sayin' HE wants Ol' Pap to be president cuz we need somebody who's right with the lord; somebody righteous to straighten us all out and help us get our minds right; somebody god has anointed to be our leader.  So gosh, if god says he needs me to do it, I guess I should do it even tho' I really don't wanna do it unless of course god-his-own-bad-self says I should do it, so tarnation, I reckon I'll just hafta go ahead and do it then.

They pull this shit cuz it works.  Huckabee knows I'll see this clip, and he knows I'd never support him anyway so it doesn't matter what I think of it.  And he knows it'll get thru to his intended audience on the "conservative" websites, and he knows they're all duly afraid of guys like me so they're at practically no risk of reading anything contrary like my little post here, and he knows that even if a rube does hear some criticism, it'll make exactly zero difference because they're all pretty much the brand of "christians" who've been innoculated against the truth anyway.

And just for the hell of it (file this next bit under "I really don't give a fuck about Godwin"):

The bad guys don't come in looking like the bad guys.  The Little Corporal didn't just pop up in 1933 and say, "Hi, my name's Adolf and I'll be your fuhrer this evening - OK, so let's go fuck up the jews."

Is It Really You, Grandpa?

This is just too weird.  Here's a letter sent to the OpEd page for one of the newspapers in Pueblo Colorado some time in about 1973 - written by my grandfather:

The old duffer's been dead for about 40 years, but reading this makes me think he must've been way ahead of his time cuz he sure sounds like about 80% of the wingnut trolls who show up and leave comments on news sites and Facebook and anywhere you go to try to get something resembling the straight dope on practically anything.

Or maybe he sounds kinda current because a certain mentality just never fucking changes.

Punishment For Being

You may have heard about the obscene behavior of Virginia law enforcement in the case of a 17-year-old sexting his girlfriend:

A Virginia teen is facing two felony charges after he was caught sexting with his girlfriend.

If he's convicted, he could be forced to register as a sex offender and spend time in jail.

Trey Sims, 17, was charged with manufacturing and distributing child pornography in January, while exchanging texts with his then-girlfriend, who was 15 at the time. His iPhone and iPad were seized by police, and he was taken into custody.

And by now, just about everybody's heard of SCOTUS making it more probable that any given employer will be free to create a work environment that feels pretty hostile to any woman looking to take charge of what does or doesn't happen to/with/in her own body.

This kinda shit is happening because the default position in our little Christian-dominated establishment is to punish sexual behavior (ours, not theirs btw).  They have to.  If they don't, then they lose the power to keep us in line.

Adam and Eve "sinned; they were disobedient" - and never mind the metaphorical baloney about trees and fruits and the knowledge of good and evil.  It makes for a pretty good story, but the guys who wrote the book were very much in agreement that it was really all about the sex because the thing they concentrated on - the thing everybody remembers about it - is that god curses all womankind with dreadful pain during childbirth - and how does she get pregnant?  Yeah.  

So they conclude that sex is what Original Sin is all about.  No sex, no sin; so sex must be bad, so sex must be punished.  Except of course that we need you to procreate, so we'll make up some more bullshit and call it "necessary evil" (and don't get me started on the brilliance of that bit of holy entrapment).

So anyway, if sex is OK, then there's no sin, which means there's no Fall of Man, which means there's no need for redemption, which means we don't need a Redeemer, which means we don't need Jesus, which means nobody shows up on Sunday to pay the preacher's mortgage absorb the teachings of holy scripture (which conveniently seem always to fit the GOP Platform), which means Theo-Con Politicians lose elections, which means they can't protect the church's tax-exempt status and to reciprocate the church's largesse by figuring out ways around the law in order to pump more public dollars into church coffers, and on and on and on.

So they have to punish us for sex.  If they don't, their whole thing collapses in on itself.

And also too - why do you think these buttheads rail so loud and so long and so often against Evolution?  Because evolution actually rewards us for sex, which can't be tolerated for all the old reliable reasons.  No Adam and Eve = No Fall = No Jesus = No Church = No Money = No Power.

'Scuse Me, Mr Erickson?

Exactly what "consequences", Erick?  And when you use the word consequences, aren't you inviting the inference that you think sex is "dirty" and that people who engage in such activities deserve to be punished for it?   What horrible "consequences" do you think should befall us for the sin of enjoying a little adult playtime by way of some mutually consensual sex, you pinch-faced blue-nosed twat waffle?

Are you really so totally muddled with shame (and the crushing guilt that you've imposed on yourself because of a neolithic fairy story about talking snakes) that you just can't help but project all your pre-adolescent sexual-identity confusion onto the rest of the world?

Seriously - I don't mean to Concern Troll you here, but you gotta talk to a professional about some of these issues, man.

Fuck - I get tired of this shit.

Jesus Was Beast, Man

So, in the face of the criticism that they're not following the teachings of their savior, do these TheoCons change their approach?  No, of course not - they just change Jesus.  They change history all the time - why not simply redefine the "son of god" to fit their political narrative?



Oh yeah - please tell us General Boykin, if a real man (like Jesus) has bulging biceps and a thin waist and veins popping out on his forearms - and not the "effeminate" wuss you claim the church has turned him into - I guess I'm wondering why you're not trying just a little harder to follow that example?  Looks to me like you could benefit from lugging a few rocks around your own bad self.

You can't be like that Girlie Jesus, so you turn him into Hunk Jesus; and then you can't be like that Jesus either.  Fail at every turn.  Here's what ya do: head down to the bank, take out all your money, and then go buy yourself a fuckin' clue.

hat tip = Addicting Info

Please Please Please

Seriously, guys - tell me you're not gonna vote for this asshole.

EW Jackson - TheoPutz - Republican (of course) running for Lt Gov here in Virginia.

Head Wind

Wanna know why "public schools are failing"?  Lotsa of reasons actually, but here's a good one (kentucky.com):

Another committee member, Rep. Ben Waide, R-Madisonville, said he had a problem with evolution being an important part of biology standards.

“The theory of evolution is a theory, and essentially the theory of evolution is not science — Darwin made it up,” Waide said. “My objection is they should ensure whatever scientific material is being put forth as a standard should at least stand up to scientific method. Under the most rudimentary, basic scientific examination, the theory of evolution has never stood up to scientific scrutiny.”

And another'n:

"I think we are very committed to being able to take Kentucky students and put them on a report card beside students across the nation," Givens said. "We're simply saying to the ACT people we don't want what is a theory to be taught as a fact in such a way it may damage students' ability to do critical thinking."

Read more here: http://www.kentucky.com/2012/08/14/2298914/gop-lawmakers-question-standards.html#storylink=cpy

(hat tip = Little Green Footballs)

It just amazes me that we feel the need to send armies halfway around the world to fight The Taliban, when we have our own homegrown version right here in places like Kentucky.

And while I'm on the subject of Theocracy, here's what I wonder:  If your religion is so great and your god is so powerful, why do you need an earthly government to force it on us?

Ahh - Now I Get It

Let's connect some dots, shall we?

Rick Santorum is hell bent to stop abortion and to get them rascal wimmins off birth control.  Is it because he just luvs dem babies so much?  Well kinda, but not really.  At least not in the way he's been selling it to the rubes.

It's never about what they say it's about.

One good bite at about 1:55 ("What must we do to win?") with the big payoff starting at 2:25.  Give a listen.



Little Ricky's plan is all about beating Islam - by outbreeding them.  All of it.  Abortion, Contraception, Marriage, Immigration; the whole thing is about building up the Enemy into a mighty and malevolent threat, and making yourself out to be the man on the white horse - reluctant, but ultimately willing to lead the forces of good blah blah blah - sometimes my only wish is that I could spell the sound I make when I puke.

A Turnaround

A facebook friend wrote on his wall: "What if all you had today was what you thanked God for yesterday?"

Seems like bible thumpers believe there can be no argument with this kinda crap; that the authority of their faith says it all; that the sheer profundity of their utterance leaves no possibly for an alternative view.

Poor salesmen take this as 'The Stopper' - an insurmountable objection.  Good salesmen go for the turnaround.

What if today, we didn't have all the shitty things that zealots have forced on us in the name of their gods for the last 800 generations?

Just askin'.

On Things Authoritarian

One of the better bits from Theramin Trees. At about 11:00, there's a great parallel with how some city governments are trying to deal with OWS protests. Makes a lot of sense to me in that context.