Slouching Towards Oblivion

Showing posts with label god. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god. Show all posts

Monday, January 22, 2024

Today's Oy


Because god is an asshole cult leader who will passive-aggressively fuck up every relationship you're in just so he can claim you for his own.

That's not a god - that's a psycho boyfriend.

Friday, December 29, 2023

Today's Attempted Gotcha

From Quora:

Christian: You're skydiving with a child. You've jumped from the airplane, and the kid says he won't pull his rip cord until you renounce your atheism and declare Jesus to be your lord and savior. What would you do?

 Atheist: I'd do what Christians do - I'd lie my ass off to get what I want.

Wednesday, June 01, 2022

Today's Wingnut

RWW Blog
White nationalist John Doyle doesn't understand why he's supposed to care that multiple children were killed in Uvalde, Texas: "This is the most abominable culture in the history of the world, probably. Of course kids are going to be shot in a school."


Those school kids were "godless"?

Were those kids not praying to their god - a god that never showed up to help them?

If god hears the prayers, but is unable to do anything to help, then that god is impotent.

If god hears the prayers, but refuses to do anything to help, then that god is a monster.

If your god can be kept out of anything by anyone, then you've got one weak-ass god there, bubba. You might wanna shop around a bit.

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Just Pretty Dumb

Posted on the "Conservative" sub-reddit:


OK, but first, this can't really be an issue - you guys are just makin' shit up.

2nd, the science involved in this "issue" isn't concerned at all with what the Christianists think god did or didn't decide.

But 3rd, if we allow for god to be factored in, let's at least remember that this is the same god that gave us the platypus, and the laryngeal nerve, and a system for populating the earth that relied totally on incest - and he pulled that shit twice.

Given all that, I just don't see much that indicates we should regard god as anything but a massive fuck up, so there's no reason to think god is bound to make good choices as far gender identity is concerned.

Monday, March 25, 2019

Today's Other Side

The Christian Left would like to remind everybody that maybe we got Trump because god was all out of frogs and locusts.

Thank you, and stay tuned - the plagues have just begun.

Thursday, March 07, 2019

The Lord Speaks

Conservative Christians are saying Donald Trump was sent to do the lord's work and deliver America into the kingdom of heaven.

That's the best argument in favor of atheism anybody's ever made.
-- god

(hat tip = @thegoodgodabove)

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Just Missed

A sinkhole opened up on Tuesday afternoon in the road a block away from White House grounds in Washington.

DC police said in a tweet that 17th Street NW between C and E streets NW was closed in both directions because of the sinkhole.


A sinkhole formed last summer on the north White House lawn near the entrance to the James Brady Press Briefing Room. The hole was cordoned off, excavated and repaired over the course of roughly a week last May.

God was unavailable for comment, but through a spokes-angel, heaven released this brief message, quoting the deity: "Shit - I guess my targeting system's all fucked up again".

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Karma, Bitch

A bible museum. In Washington DC. With a view of the Capitol.


CNN:

The Museum of the Bible in Washington, DC says five of its most valuable artifacts -- once thought to be part of the historic Dead Sea Scrolls -- are fake and will not be displayed anymore.

German-based scholars tested the fragments and found that five "show characteristics inconsistent with ancient origin and therefore will no longer be displayed at the museum."
CNN raised questions about the museum's Dead Sea Scroll fragments in an article published last November, as the Green family prepared to unveil their new, $500 million museum. At 430,000 square feet, and with views of the Capitol, the Bible museum represents a significant investment for its evangelical founders.

And the kicker -

"Though we had hoped the testing would render different results, this is an opportunity to educate the public on the importance of verifying the authenticity of rare biblical artifacts, the elaborate testing process undertaken and our commitment to transparency," said Jeffrey Kloha, the chief curatorial officer for Museum of the Bible.

Excuse me, Mr Kloha, but if you knuckleheads cared about "verifying the authenticity" of any-damned-thing at all, you wouldn't be religious in the first place.

When you 're willing to believe in a pixie that lives in the sky - who'll do magic tricks for you if you suck up to it just right - you can't be surprised when somebody pulls some scammy shit on your gullible ass.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

A Thinker

If you were god, what would you do?









You are morally superior to a god who sees this and does nothing.

Why would you worship that god?

Wednesday, March 07, 2018

Random Shots

(...and cheap ones at that)

The good news is that Billy Graham is still dead.

The bad news is that Franklin Graham still isn't.


The good news is that Billy Graham recently discovered there is no god.

The bad news is that we have to live in this fucked up world without George Carlin.



Sunday, September 10, 2017

Fake Lord Save Us


And then hurricane Irma was turned away and it spun harmlessly into the Gulf of Mexico.

Just kidding, because - well, you know:

  • Nothing fails like prayer, or...
  • ...these knuckleheads were doing it wrong, or...
  • ...your god is just as much a dick as a fast-growing majority of us have suspected for quite a while

Sunday, January 08, 2017

Sunday's Question

Of all the sins requiring Death By Stoning, why did god leave Rape off the list?

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Playing God

I saw a critter suffering today.
I watched and watched and watched some more.
And then I walked away.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Your God Can Blow Me

Radical Christian shit is no better than radical Islamic shit, which is no better than radical Judaic shit or radical Hindi shit or or or.


Take away our belief in Imaginary Friends, and we take away that guy's power to get us to do stoopid things that he thinks our imaginary friend is commanding us to do.

 

Push for reasoning and logic and evidence, and bit by bit, we start to dismantle one of the main structural rationalizations for making people suffer.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Friday, July 15, 2016

A Glimmer

Saudi Arabia has roving bands of Morality Police with the power to beat up citizens they deem not behaving as good little Wahabis.

A judge in Kentucky decided he could refuse to officiate at a civil wedding ceremony because the couple didn't mention God in their vows.

Bands of psychotically religious assholes do all manner of shitty things to people everywhere, in the name of their love and devotion for any of a dozen versions of the one true merciful and loving god.

Fuck 'em.

Still, there's this tiny glimmer of hope in USAmerica Inc.

  

Monday, June 13, 2016

To Whom It May Concern

Dear God,

Prince was my favorite guitar player, and you called him home last month.

Muhammad Ali was my all-time favorite sports hero, and you took him last week.

I just wanted to get up with you today, and remind you that my favorite candidate is a guy named Donald Trump.

I'm not expecting miracles here, but, you know - just in case you got nothing better to do or whatever.

Thanks,
Mike


cribbed from a post by FB pal Linda

Sunday, April 24, 2016

The Obvious Question

Montgomery County officials are investigating after a deadly shooting during a church service in North Wales.
During a press conference, Montgomery County District Attorney Kevin Steele identified the victim as 27-year-old Robert Braxton III of Montgomeryville.
The two guys got into a tussle in church. In a Christian church. And I guess it's fairly safe to say neither of these jagoffs was doing a lot of cheek-turning.  

And now one of 'em's dead - because he went to church today.

So the very obvious question - where the fuck was this all-knowing all-powerful god when this shit went down in god's house on god's day?  

Anybody wanna talk "free will" for just a second?  The asshole with the gun exercised his free will; god knew all along that's what was gonna happen; god did nothing to prevent the shooting - nothing to keep the victim from being killed; that guy's dead because god made a conscious decision to stand aside and let it happen. God wanted that guy dead - he's dead because god willed it so? 

Well then, fuck that god. And fuck the church that sells that bullshit to people.

And I'll keep saying this - you're pretty fucked up in the head, America. Buncha fucking psycho fucks.