And now, a word from the Trump administration’s sponsors
The pay-to-play takeover of the Easter Egg Roll could be just the beginning.
There is apparently no American institution, no matter how benign, that Donald Trump can’t degrade. Now, he has done it to the annual White House Easter Egg Roll.
Monday’s version of the event looked much like all the others since the tradition began in 1878 — except this one was sold to the highest bidders. The news release from the first lady’s office listed no fewer than 11 activities at the egg roll with corporate sponsors trying to curry favor with the president.
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The cryptocurrency company GALA hosted a digital egg hunt. Betty Crocker Dessert Decorating parent Signature Brands hosted the cookie-decorating station, and another Signature Brands company, PAAS, ran the egg-coloring activity. While alarm bells were sounding on Wall Street during another bloody Monday, the New York Stock Exchange hosted a “Ringing of the Bell Photo Opportunity” at the egg roll. The National Confectioners Association handled “Easter Candy Distribution.” The Toy Association operated the “Play Garden.” The International Fresh Produce Association also had a role in the roll.
Then there were the big three: Google’s YouTube sponsoring the Bunny Hop Stage (where the Marine Band was to perform); Meta hosting an “AI-Powered Experience and Photo Opportunity”; and Amazon providing the “Reading Nook” and photo-op. (Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Amazon founder Jeff Bezos owns The Post.)
Trump gazed upon this assemblage of corporate courtiers from a White House balcony and announced that “We’re going to honor Jesus Christ very powerfully.”
Among those listed as readers at the Reading Nook was Jennifer Hegseth, wife of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. The first lady’s announcement did not specify Jennifer Hegseth’s choice of readings, but she could have selected the Signal group chat, reportedly shared with her and others by her husband, detailing U.S. attacks in Yemen — including F/A-18 flight plans. Proposed sponsor for that reading: Boeing.
Also on the list for the nook was Keith Kellogg, Trump’s special envoy for Ukraine and Russia, who could have read to kids about his plan to keep Ukraine out of NATO and to carve it up among allied forces “like what happened with Berlin” after World War II. Proposed sponsor: The Russian Embassy.
Another featured reader: Kristi Noem, who could have chosen news accounts of her recent visit to an El Salvador prison, where the Homeland Security secretary made a video while migrants deported without due process were forced to stand behind her as a backdrop, shirtless and with heads shaved. Proposed sponsor: The American Barber Association. (Noem is particularly in need of financial support after having her handbag, containing $3,000, her passport and her security badge, stolen at a D.C. restaurant on Sunday night.)
If you’re appalled by the pay-to-play takeover of the egg roll, I have bad news. The U.S. government is going to need a lot more corporate sponsorship if Trump continues to operate his presidency as though it were sponsored by the American Pyrotechnics Association.
The IRS is now on its fifth commissioner in just 90 days, after the most recent one lasted only 72 hours. Because of personnel chaos (Trump plans to cut IRS staff in half), and the agency’s sharing of confidential taxpayer information, experts predict a wave of noncompliance — and a revenue shortfall so huge the Treasury Department will have to be sponsored by the American Bankruptcy Institute.
The obvious solution to this shortfall: Selling sponsorships for government assets and functions. As a side benefit, it will also be an act of truth in labeling.
Benjamin Netanyahu already dominates Trump’s Mideast policy; make him pay for a sponsorship. Same for El Salvador’s authoritarian ruler, Nayib Bukele, who apparently has the last word on U.S. deportation policy. The National Coal Council appears to be running the Environmental Protection Agency, banks have triumphed over a decimated Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, and the cryptocurrency industry has overrun the Securities and Exchange Commission. They should at least pay for naming rights to their trophies.
The Elon Musk Department of Defense is poised to give SpaceX a huge contract to build a missile defense system — the latest way the Trump pal stands to profit from the government he is dismantling. Likewise, the Peter Thiel Department of Homeland Security has been sending funds to a company owned by the major Republican donor, thanks to lobbying by Trump adviser Corey Lewandowski; other Thiel businesses are poised to reap even more.
Perhaps the Social Security Administration could enlist the National Funeral Directors Association as a sponsor of its efforts to reclassify living people as dead.
It’s hard to know which group would be the best sponsor of the various crises Trump is setting in motion: cutting back on food and infant formula safety; decimating the Education Department and student-loan forgiveness; setting off a trade war and causing markets to plunge.
For gambling with our safety, the American Gaming Association?
For risking economic ruin, the American Preppers Network?
For my (dwindling) money, there is one industry group that deserves naming rights above all others. The Trump administration resembles nothing so much as the National Demolition Association.
