Overheard

The strongest men are gentle

The smartest men are quiet

The richest men are generous

The happiest men are single

Overheard

Try not to worry about all those giant AI data centers being built in depressed rural communities.

We can count on the locals to fight back by breaking into them and stealing all the copper.

Overheard

BREAKING:

Rift widens between Elon Musk

and everybody who's ever met him.

Overheard

It's really not all that hard to understand what a woman wants.

Once you figure out what color the letter 7 smells like, you've got it made. Piece o' cake, bubba.

Overheard

When Trump is finally dead and gone, he won't be going to heaven, but about 10,000 NDAs will be freed up, and we'll really start to learn just what a truly miserable, shitty human being he was.

Overheard

I'm almost 73 years old. I've lived thru

• The Cuban missile crisis
• The assassination of JFK
• The Watts riots
• The murders of Chaney, Goodman, and Schwerner in Mississippi in 1964
• Church bombings that killed little girls
• Vietnam
• The assassinations of RFK and MLK
• The gut-wrenching turmoil of 1968
• Stagflation
• The first oil crisis
• Watergate
• The second oil crisis
• The Iran hostage crisis
• Trickle down and union busting
• Iran-Contra
• The Challenger
• The crack epidemic
• The Dot Com crash
• 9/11
• The Mortgage crash and Great Recession
• The opiate epidemic
• COVID-19
• and and and

I've never seen anything as stupidly vile and depressing and disgusting as this current edition of the Trump shitshow.

Fake lord deliver us from this madness.

Overheard

I'm straight, white, cis-male, and middle class.

But until this monumentally stupid and cancerous hate parade is over, I'm:

Latino

Jewish

Special needs 

Black

Gay

Poor 

Muslim

Trans

Bi

Foreign-born

Lesbian

Homeless 

and anything else that sticks in MAGA's craw.

Overheard

The guy who's covering the entire White House with gold leaf is telling us our kids will just have to do with fewer dolls and pencils.

Overheard

If you ever feel like you're a shitty parent, just remember that at least you're not out doing a months-long press tour while your kids are at home trying to process the very public, very violent death of their dad.

Overheard

It was a long hard day, and I needed a little perspective, so I called my 83-year-old dad and asked him if things had always been this difficult.

There was a pause, and then he said, "No, and I'm glad I won't be here much longer."

Good luck out there, kids.

Overheard

Flight Attendant:

Is there a doctor on board?

My Dad (nudging me):

That should've been you.

Me:

Not now, Dad.

My Dad:

Notice how they're not asking for a Graphic Designer.

Me:

Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now.

My Dad:

Why don't you run up there and save him as a PDF file and see what happens.

Overheard

Somewhere in this great land of ours,

some feminist noise-punk artists

are forming a band called Quiet Piggy.

Overheard

Just because he went

to Epstein's island a buncha times

doesn't mean he diddled underage girls.

Nobody goes to a casino a dozen times

and never even plays a few of slots.

Overheard

Since 2017, the wealth of billionaires

has increased by 77%

The top 10% of households in America

own 60% of the wealth

The bottom 50% of households in America

own less than 7% of the wealth

Billionaires

are

parasites

Overheard

Trump has violated every tenet in the bible - including all 10 Commandments - he knows nothing of Scripture, he worships money and power, and he acts a helluva lot more like Herod than Jesus.

But American evangelicals still support everything he says or does, and they insist it's all part of God's plan.

Overheard

There's no reliable evidence to support a link between circumcision and autism, but the probability of a link between having a micropenis and being a fascist is really starting to add up.

Overheard

If a genie appeared and told Democrats they'd been granted three wishes, they'd negotiate it down to one wish, and then ask for something they think Republicans might like.

A Thought

Seems odd to me that MAGA rubes don't care about checking on Trump's finances, but they'll scrutinize a SNAP mom's grocery cart like it's the Zapruder film.

And they call themselves the party of common sense?

Overheard

Scientists:

Discoveries are useless if the public isn't taught to understand them in a wider, interdisciplinary context.

Media:

Scientists admit their work is useless.

Overheard

Nothing gets rich people more riled up

than talking about what they think

poor people don't deserve.