A Short Film

The dreams of Caesar

Not To Worry

 The guy who can't quite master the intricate workings of an umbrella; has no idea how the Civil War got started, and then wondered why Andrew Jackson didn't do more to stop it; believed Colorado is a border state; thinks healthcare insurance costs about 12 bucks a year; thought Canadians burned the White House; asked why we can't just nuke the hurricanes; and claimed windmills cause cancer - 

- that's the guy who went on national TV yesterday to tell us COVID-19 is no big deal, and if it is a big deal, we're ready for it.

And anyway, the warm weather will fix it.

We are so fucked.

Today's Tweet

When I have to decide who I'll believe, it comes down to some random dude with an anecdote vs a "president" who's told >16,000 lies in the last 3 years.

That choice is pretty obvious.

🤡

Our clown-in-chief suggests we find alternative medicine for dealing with his lack of preparation.

He's already got his.

😷pic.twitter.com/TqFNZamFNX

— Clear Cider (@TheClearCider) February 25, 2020

We are so fucked.

Be A Lady

When it comes to relationships with women, I've been know to bitch about getting mixed signals.

There are some very good reasons for the confusion.

Cynthia Nixon, via Girls.Girls.Girls Magazine

Econ 100

Quick one from Dr Orvel Trainer, Chairman Economics, Univ of Northern Colorado, 1973

(updated and paraphrased)

You're hangin' out with some friends, and someone suggests you all pitch in and order a pizza, which is going to be 3 or 4 bucks each.

By the time the delivery guy rings the bell, you're really hungry. So you make a mad dash for the door, pay for the whole thing yourself, and sit at the kitchen table enjoying your pizza while pushing everybody else away.

This does not make you a capitalist taking advantage of your opportunities as they present themselves.

This makes you an asshole.

Jim Explains

Jim Jeffries

History

John Oliver - on the confederacy and the shit people try to pull when they need to cover their asses.

Today's Paraphrasing

Over the last 50 years or so, "conservatives" have degraded themselves to the point where their only concern is the search for a believable argument that you can morally justify being an unethical self-centered asshole.

hat tip - John Kenneth Galbraith

Today's Darwin Award

I just wanna know how long I'm required to hate myself for having laughed at this.

WaPo:

In December, buttressed by his conviction and advances in homemade rocketry, “Mad” Mike Hughes flipped on a camera and fantasized about the moment when he shows mankind that it lives on a verdant disk.

The plan: Float dozens of miles high in a balloon, then fly a rocket to the Karman line, the 62-mile-high barrier that separates the atmosphere and the cold vacuum of space, filming the entire way. “For three hours, the world stops,” Hughes said during a live stream, imagining the reaction.

Hughes, a self-styled daredevil, flat-Earth theorist and limousine-jumping stuntman, died Saturday when his crudely built contraption propelled him on a column of steam, spiraled through the air and cratered into the sagebrush outside Barstow, Calif. He was 64.

Today's Deep Thought

The total number of people your age can only decrease.

I didn't say it wasn't depressing