Instead of all this "alpha male bullshit", sign up for a little therapy - or maybe just get a hug.
Purposely making yourself suffer - paying somebody to make you suffer - mainly teaches you how to make others suffer.
There's a very unsettling trend that's been going on for quite a while now. The notion that you can't be a "real man" if you don't know how to do things that can destroy everything and everybody around you.
I was raised to build things up, not burn them down.
"Hey, boss - here's an idea. Let's send ICE to Puerto Rico and tell them to profile everybody with brown skin who speaks Spanish! We'll hit those quotas in no time."