The Good Old Days

Because nobody ever went broke underestimating the American consumer.

Turkey Salad w/ Olives & Celery in Lime Jello

🤢

Pineapple and cottage cheese in lime Jello was a pretty regular thing at my house.

Sometimes, it was shredded carrots and raisins with a cole slaw dressing - in lime Jello.

Seems like whatever my mom had, she'd throw it in with lime Jello, and boom - side dish. Made her feel creative or some-fuckin'-thing.

Catching Up

45* has been running away from his day in court his whole life.

And we may be about to get a good look at why he never stands up - why he always does his big bluff-n-bluster dance as he slinks away, leaving someone else holding the empty cape.

Question:
What are the Repubs really up to? At this point, they have to know most of the rubes will follow them anywhere - with or without Donald Trump. The Trump voters I talk with just want DumFux News to reinforce their prejudices and to tell them it's OK to die on the job thinking they'll get that new bass boat if they work a little harder and pay no attention to the silliness going on in politics.

New Product

A gaming chair - available at fine retail outlets everywhere from $129.99.

And for whatever it's worth now, here's Dennis Miller being prophetic, from a bit way back in the 90s - when he was still pretty funny, having not yet turned into the whiny-butt pussy "conservative" he is now. Bless his heart.

Just Do It

Bill Maher - one thing leads to the next, and that can take you to a very good place.

Trumpy Bear

Like everybody else, I keep thinking it just can't get any weirder - and then it does.

I have no idea if this is a real thing, but here it is.

The company peddling this thing is apparently real - looks that way anyway.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste or intelligence of the American consumer.

Without Adult Supervision

Paraphrasing Mr Mencken: Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste or the intelligence of the American consumer.  Wal-Mart seems to work very hard at proving it.

A Toon

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste or intelligence of the American consumer.

Keep Shopping, Dammit

Shopping Early

For that hard-to-shop-for got-it-all-anyway gal who's on everybody's list every year, how's about some clothing and accessories featuring skin, hair, nipples and even some puckered bungholes - all human, and all in the name of staying current and fashionable while doing something about over-population.  Let the wild rumpus begin!

hat tip = Mock Paper Scissors


(No - not really human.  C'mon, man)

Cyber Monday (NSFW)

I held off as long as I could.  Now let's get out there and shop our asses off, people.  The planet's not gonna fuck up itself, y'know.

We'll start with a nice assortment of ornaments for your Holiday Tree:

Today's Weird

On a tip from my brother, I went over to Fandango to look at the trailer for a new movie called Spotlight.  I clicked on the start arrow and ended up having to see 2 video ads before I got to the trailer.  

So, in order to watch the commercial for the movie - it's a commercial; I went in search of a commercial because I wanted to see a commercial.  And as if that's not bad enough, I had to sit thru a coupla commercials I didn't wanna see before they'd let me see the commercial I did wanna see.

I'm trying to decide if I'm a little bummed and/or aggravated at the extreme levels of monetization going on, or if I'm more than a little impressed that somebody's figured out just how captive we are to this kinda crap.

Or maybe I'm just pissed that I'm willing to put up with the whole mess.  My head hurts - I may start drinking early today.

Today's Cold Shot

Whoa, Dude

I hope I'm not the only one who thinks it's a tiny bit over the top (or weird, or even creepy) that companies are running TV Ad Trailers - teasers for the ads they plan on running during the Super Bowl.

The Invisible Hand

..is invisible because it's another mystical fabrication of "capitalists" who aren't interested in doing any more work than it takes to sell us the illusion of a useful product instead of creating something of real value.

There's no such thing as Alternative Medicine.  Anything that's been studied and tested and peer-reviewed and proven beyond the 95% Certainty Threshold is called Medicine - because that's what it is.  Everything else comes under the general heading of Quackery. However, there are new things that come along all the time, and some of them could lead to (or actually be) the next great discovery.  So the point is - as always - to be skeptical and to demand evidence.

By the 1920s, a huge fad had grown up around Radium (eg), which was being touted as a miracle substance - "liquid sunshine" is how some companies described it.  They sold people on drinking water that had been infused with radon gas, and never mind that a good buncha these suckers died of various cancers and leukemia - Marie Curie died in 1934 of aplastic anemia believed to have been contracted from her long-term exposure to radiation - and her original lab notes are still too radioactive to be handled safely.

Science finds something interesting, and almost immediately, the sharpsters gather to figure out how to use this new stuff to separate the marks from their paychecks.

Commerce must be regulated.  We have to be careful not to let regulation be used as a political weapon to gain an unfair advantage just to beat down competition, but every time we've allowed "the free market" to run wild, we've paid a heavy price.  A little of that good ol' American Common Sense is in order here.

Today's Genius In Marketing

Because we've been supremely successful at making you paranoid about being hip and accepted and not uncool, we can get you to buy pretty much any shit we tell you to buy.

And no - they're not kidding

What's The Matter With Wal-Mart?

The short answer, of course is, "Who fucking cares?"  but there's something that feels like a bellwether in this, from CNBC:

At the center of the discounter's domestic woes is its appeal among shoppers who are facing stagnant wage growth and simply can't afford to spend on discretionary items—or in some cases, food.

"They're lowering prices and they're still not getting the traffic," said Belus Capital Advisors analyst Brian Sozzi.

First, Wal-Mart is making all the right moves if what they're attempting to do is to drive a deflationary downward spiral.  They cut their prices which means they have to hammer their workers and their vendors to cut costs, which means their vendors have to hammer their workers and their vendors and on and on and on - until nobody's making enough to spend the few pennies it takes to buy any of the piece of shit merchandise available anywhere.  It's an obvious over-simplification, but that's basically how an economy works.

But there's a kicker - a delicious extra bit of irony.  From the comments at the CNBC site:

walmart can have it, went yesterday, stopped stocking three things we went there to get. no customer service, the place is full of third world village idiots who have no discipline with themselves much less five or six anchor babies in tow. Their prices may be cheaper, but I'll pay more just to stay away, or starve.............now car insurance?? whats next?? baby birthing stations for illegals??????

This rube has grown up believing the bullshit about how differences between people are all about ethnicity and skin color and everything except economic class. So the guy we tend to think of as the "typical Wal-Mart shopper" is now going to avoid shopping at Wal-Mart because it's filled with people just like him.

What We'll Prob'ly Not See Today

Today is the climax of the Festival In Superbowl-y Triumph, when the entire world can enjoy watching America FIST-ing itself on hi-def TV, thanks almost solely to a squad of Corporate Slags who'll give 3 or 4 million dollars to some other Corporate Slags to air a 30-second spot, placed by even more Corporate Slags at the ad agencies who've been whipping the armies of minimum-wage interns mornin' noon and night in order to come up with the little gems that we'll be raving about for a good two weeks, while we're slaving away to make the money we'll need to give to the beer companies and the insurance companies and the car companies and the sports franchises (and to the governments so they can give even more to those companies and franchises in direct and indirect ways) - just so we come right back here next year and do it all over again.  America - 'cuz FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's one piece that I'm betting didn't make the cut.

Gettin' It Done - 23

23. Passed Credit Card Reforms: Signed the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility, and Disclosure Act (2009), which prohibits credit card companies from raising rates without advance notification, mandates a grace period on interest rate increases, and strictly limits overdraft and other fees.

It seems like such a good thing - transparency and a reinforcement of requirements to treat people fairly; to codify the plain truth that honesty is pretty important when we're doing business with each other.

Of course, this was passed in May of 2009, when certain politicians were still thinking they needed to get something done to fix some of the problems that nearly dragged us over the cliff in 2008, and to put aside their petty ambitions and empty pursuit of power for the sake of power.

So the Credit CARD Act* passed with a level of bi-partisan support that scared the shit outa the Repubs.  They had to figure that they were helping Obama create a legacy that would put him on Rushmore if they weren't careful.  So they decided to stall.  And I think it's really just that simple.  If they keep stimulus bottled up, then they keep consumer demand bottled up too.  And the longer you can hold it off, the bigger the jump will be when you finally uncork it.  The economy will not stay bad for ever.  If Obama is gone and their guy's in the Oval Office when things really start cookin' again, they'll stand in front of a giant banner every month when the jobs report comes out proclaiming that everything good that happens from now on is because of they helped America put the steel back in our spines blah blah blah.

*the warping, twisting and torturing of the language in order to come up with memorable  titles for these laws illustrates part of the problem - I guess I understand that we can expect the American public to shade towards being Issue-Stoopid, but if we took the time and effort necessary to create the mnemonics, and put it into...fuck it, never mind.  "Issue-Stoopid" kinda says it all.

The Self

Your homework assignment for this weekend:

Starting at about 25:00, try not to think about Leo Strauss or Freddie Hayek (an elite group controlling the herd's animal instincts).

Part 1


Part 2
(at about 23:15 - getting the consumer to substitute your product for what she really wants - "nearly 4 inches longer...", and the lady goes "ooooooh!")
Nuthin' but brilliant.


Part 3


Part 4