Yo, Repubs

(ed note: This was hangin' in the Drafts File.  Not much new here, but it's generally a good idea to recap once in a while)

  

It's gotten so bad for you guys that the Repub candidates who might actually have a chance to beat Obama aren't going to bother running any real campaign in states like Iowa and South Carolina.  Why?  Because your party's "leaders" have allowed the loons to grab control.  

There's a pretty severe purity test at work here.  If you look at what it takes to get "the base" to vote for somebody in sufficient numbers to win the nomination, you might notice the list of issues requiring absolute fealty is getting pretty long - gays, God, guns, abortion, taxes, immigration, plus one or two others.  The point being that when you insist on strict adherence to this widening list of issues, the effect is that you're not just narrowing the field of candidates who could reasonably cleave to that platform, but you're severely narrowing the number of voters who're willing to go along with it, because what it really shows us is a party that seems bent on controlling way too much of our lives.

You're supposed to be the party of personal responsibility, and small government, and "just leave me the fuck alone".  But when you tell 5% of the population they're not allowed to marry someone they love, you're not holding to your own philosophy.  

When you say you can't vote for somebody who isn't in your chapter of God's Fan Club, then you're ignoring the part of the US Constitution that outlaws tests of religion for elected or appointed office (Article VI).

When you control the Alabama (eg) Legislature and pass a stupid Immigration Law which leads to the arrest of a Mercedes-Benz Production Manager on a visit to the plant in Tuscaloosa, you don't get to piss and moan about how government regulations are hurting business.

Wanna talk abortion?  Here it is:  You outlaw abortion, and you'll be requiring an expansion of government power that'll make Nicky Ceauşescu look like Calvin Coolidge.

The saving grace is that your rapid acceleration toward the logical extreme is causing the GOP to run in tighter and tighter circles, which will eventually make it disappear up its own asshole - which should let the rest of us get back to makin' shit work again.

Today's Music

Actually, not today's music at all.  It's just a great tune, and it was Billboard's #1 on this date in 1969.

Local Controversy

Years ago, a guy named Paul Reisler put together a little residency program (Kid Pan Alley)  where he recruits local music talent, then chooses a public elementary school for a week of song-writing sessions with the kids.  The classes write and perform the tunes at school, and a CD is issued as a means to raise a few bucks for the PTA.  As the program gathers enough tunes, Reisler et al will then produce a CD featuring professionals (eg: Terri Allard, Sissy Spacek, The Nashville Chamber Orchestra, Jesse Winchester, etc).

My kids have been thru this, and all seemed well and good until recently, when the 3rd graders at Woodbrook Elementary School here in Charlottesville came up with a song with references to greed and Occupy and 99%ers.  And of course, the wingnuts freaked out.

(hat tip = Wonkette)

Local News Video

The knee-jerkers' big question generally centers around whether or not 'the libruls' would still support the results if the songs were about Tea Party stuff or religion, etc.  Well, guess what - a quick scan of the Kid Pan Alley website reveals lots of tunes about the things that make these Little-Brains cream their jeans.

Once in a while, I'd like to look into one of these "outrages" and find even the barest thread of truth in what these boneheads are screamin' about.  Hell, I'd settle for anything that doesn't simply reinforce my own pre-conceptions about 'em.

(this is not the song in question - just a sample posted on YouTube)


I'm gonna clean my room before my mom tells me to
I'm gonna set the table at a quarter to two
I'm gonna feed the dog, take out the trash
I'm gonna do everything I'm asked

Yes, yes, yes, thats what I'm gonna do
Yes, yes, yes, thats what I'm gonna do

I've done all the dishes and made the beds
Vacuumed the floor, made sure the pets were fed
How come every time I do what I'm asked
Seems like Mom gives me another task

I'm gonna clean my room before my mom tells me to
I'm gonna set the table at a quarter to two
I'm gonna feed the dog, take out the trash
I'm gonna do everything Im asked

Yes, yes, yes, thats what I'm gonna do
Yes, yes, yes, thats what I'm gonna do

I've already taken out the fish and fed the trash
Ate my homework, did my dinner and kissed my bath
There's an infinite number of things to do
Like counting the stars in the sky -- I'll never get through

I'm gonna clean my room before my mom tells me to
I'm gonna set the table at a quarter to two
I'm gonna feed the dog, take out the trash
I'm gonna do everything I'm asked

Yes, yes, yes, thats what I'm gonna do
Yes, yes, yes, thats what I'm gonna do
Yes, yes, yes, thats what I'm gonna do

Tools Explained

(hat tip = Doug Z)


DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit'

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads (also good for creating blood-blisters).

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. ie: It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used subsequent to pliers to finish rounding off bolt heads.  Also, if nothing else is available, they can be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wooden projectiles for testing wall integrity. 


HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to ream out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws while butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts in reasonable proximity to whatever you're trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and simultaneously slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on unseen objects such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing through work clothes, but only while being worn (or when enclosed in packaging, as stated above).

SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite)  When working unassisted in a tight place or awkward position, this is the tool you grab and then throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs.  It is then automatically converted, becoming the next tool you need.

Settle In

Get the popcorn ready and sit yer butt down - this is gonna take a while.

Chris Hedges on C-SPAN

At the heart of any protest (at least here in the US) is the simple desire to get this country to live up to its own ideals.

My Kinda Republican

It's certainly a rarity in politics now, and maybe it always was a rare thing, but once in a while somebody steps up and shows us a little something about honor and leadership and soul.

Via Wikipedia, the story of Fred Tuttle:

In 1998 Tuttle was persuaded to run in the Republican US Senate primary. His opponent was Jack McMullen, a multi-millionaire who had lived in Massachusetts for most of his life. McMullen faced opposition from some Vermont Republicans who felt that he was a carpetbagger who apparently moved to Vermont for the sole purpose of establishing residency for a Senate run. The Vermont primary structure allows Democrats and Independents to vote in the Republican primary, and many people foresaw the possibility that Tuttle would beat McMullen by drawing votes across party lines. In addition, some may have hoped that a Tuttle campaign would help to publicize the film Man with a Plan.

Fuck John Galt - Where is Fred Tuttle?

Scorecard

Mother Jones has lots of pretty pictures of the ugly truth.

Here's one of my faves.  5000 Americans were asked about Wealth Distribution.

And - surprise, surprise - there's a fairly simple reason your Congress Critter hangs out in the hot tub with Mr Monopoly, but sends you form letters.

Here We Go Again

Happy New Year.

Now get yer butts back to work - we got shit to do.

A Revoltin' Development

South Carolina Tea Partiers are gearing up to put on quite a show for us next month.

"The Tea Party" isn't monolithic.  Like most political entities, it's an amalgam - but unlike a "real political party" where the point of the exercise is to cobble together a coalition of interests that's as wide and as deep as possible, Tea Partiers are all about purity.  And I think that means they'll have to keep splitting into smaller and smaller factions as they try to rid themselves of "the non-believers".  Listening to their language, I hear the telltale signs of Fundamentalism taken to the Logical Extreme.
1) Compromise is not an option.
2) Compromisers must be expelled.

So what happens when Fundamentalists start feelin' their oats?
(hat tip = The Firebrand)

Organizers of a tea party convention scheduled to convene next month in Myrtle Beach are fending off accusations that they called for “armed guards” with concealed weapons permits to staff the event. A senior leader of one tea party group in the Palmetto State raised concern about heat-packing patriots amid a flurry of email backlash after supporters of Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann announced their intention to hold a straw poll at the event to promote their candidate.
Read more: The Daily Caller

And be sure to drill down into the comments to get a good taste of what's in store for us.

If it was any less tragic, it wouldn't be funny.

Thank You, Firebrand

Wow.  I'm just so impressed with my own bad self right now, I cain't hardly stand it.  Thanks, guys.

Firebrand

Bless Their Pea-Pickin' Little Hearts

From The Richmond Times-Dispatch today:

Anyone who wants to vote must sign a form at the polling place pledging to support the eventual Republican nominee for president. Anyone who refuses to sign the pledge will be barred from voting.

During a brief meeting Wednesday at the state Capitol, the State Board of Elections voted 3-0 to approve three forms developed by the election board’s staff to implement the loyalty pledge requested by the state GOP.

(hat tip = Wonkette)

It's nuts.  Obviously, the oath is unenforceable unless they can tie an individual's Primary Vote to the vote he casts in the General Election.  It's just a guess, but I'm thinkin' there's a coupla dozen laws in place at various levels of government that are supposed to ensure the Secret Ballot.  Are they telling us they intend to break the law trying to impose a little party discipline?  (insert sardonic Political Crook reference here)

For me, the real problem is the simple fact that anybody in a leadership position would think it's legitimate even to propose such a thing.  Somebody please tell me how this is in keeping with any of the traditions of democracy, in any way, at any time.

I don't vote for Repubs any more because they insist on doing stupid shitty things that make it impossible for me to vote for them.

Give It A Rest Already

Every election cycle - actually, we're well into the Era of the Perpetual Campaign, but that's a different rant - anyway, every election cycle for at least a good 35 years, we hear the same crap: "We need the government to run like a business".  This is the dumbest fuckin' nonsense imaginable.

Think about any business you've ever owned or worked for.  Can you tell me, with even the tiniest kernel of honesty, that that business was operated as a democracy?  Think of the lightest, fluffiest management you've ever worked under; did they put their policies up for a vote?  Good management always talks about "empowering our people" and "soliciting input" on some of the more important issues, but let's be real clear; what's going on is that you're being invited to agree with decisions that have already been made, and/or decisions that will be implemented when the "labor climate is a little more receptive"; no matter what they are, and no matter how they affect you, these decisions are not yours to make.  Your participation in these decisions is always post facto.

Looking for proof?  You find a hundred people who've worked for any private company maybe 3-5 years, and I'll do the same.  We'll ask them all this question: "Have you ever been in a meeting (or in an argument with your boss) debating company policy, where the final pronouncement on the subject has been, 'Yeah well, this is no democracy'?"  I'll pay you for every "No" answer, and you pay me for every time somebody says, "Shit, that's all we ever fucking hear any more."

A business is Top-Down and Authoritarian.  It's run by Powerful Elites, chosen by other Powerful Elites, who form a Central Planning Committee that sets policy and issues commands in order to make the company do whatever Ownership wants it to do.

Are you sure that's what you want your government to look like?

E-Con

Here's another good one from Firebrand:

The Atlantic Cities ran an interesting piece today about corporate relocation battles. The short of it is that states compete with one another to bring in specific corporations by giving away huge sums of public money. Right now, Ohio and Illinois are fighting over the Sears corporate headquarters, with both states offering around $400 million of public money to the corporation. Incentives like these amount to around $50 billion a year in state and local spending.

Companies have been playing this Labor Arbitrage game for a long time, with the emphasis on paying very low wages overseas, and counting on relatively cheap fuel and zero tariffs to make shipping easy.  Maybe they're starting to see that they're causing themselves to have some real problems because of it.  Or maybe they just see that it's time to apply the Principles of Arbitrage here at home in a bigger way.

Unions are on the ropes, so one angle is to propose opening a plant in the Rust Belt (eg), but make sure everybody knows the company simply can't afford to pay union wages, so "If you want a job, you'll have to work for shit - that's the only way - after all, we've got lots of people in Cambodia doing this work right now for 16 cents an hour; you wanna bitch about us doing you a favor at 8-and-a-quarter?"

I think we can look forward to a lot of really shitty things happening as States and Counties and Cities continue to hack away at every government expense trying to find ways to buy those jobs.

Welcome to Pottersville.

A New One

First, I'm lovin' me some serious Wonkette.  They keep coming up with great posts that have very sharp edges.

And B, I found The Firebrand on their blog roll.

Conservatives are pretty shifty in arguments. One moment they appear to be concerned about the poor and how taxes will ultimately hurt them and kill their jobs. The other moment they seem to think the poor don’t deserve anything anyways. Most folks — no matter their political leanings — do not consciously think about the philosophical frameworks that the justifications for their opinions tend to fall in. Although rigid frameworks are probably a bit reductive, they can be useful tools to understand what exactly people are saying. The following three conservative philosophical frameworks can account for almost all of the conservative rhetoric and arguments out there these days. I offer them here to hopefully help those who want to understand and better analyze conservative justifications.

The piece is a good breakdown of three basic formational ideas of what passes for "conservative" thinking these days, and it gives me some good new vocabulary to work with.

A Turnaround

A facebook friend wrote on his wall: "What if all you had today was what you thanked God for yesterday?"

Seems like bible thumpers believe there can be no argument with this kinda crap; that the authority of their faith says it all; that the sheer profundity of their utterance leaves no possibly for an alternative view.

Poor salesmen take this as 'The Stopper' - an insurmountable objection.  Good salesmen go for the turnaround.

What if today, we didn't have all the shitty things that zealots have forced on us in the name of their gods for the last 800 generations?

Just askin'.