“I am not anti-gun. I'm pro-knife. Consider the merits of the knife. In the first place, you have to catch up with someone in order to stab him. A general substitution of knives for guns would promote physical fitness. We'd turn into a whole nation of great runners. Plus, knives don't ricochet. And people are seldom killed while cleaning their knives.” --Molly Ivins
Apr 14, 2015
Molly Today
Apr 13, 2015
Monday's Minor Miracle
OK OK - no miracle; just good photography (or PhotoShop or whatever).
But then again, maybe the miracle is that the wingnuts aren't jumping up and down screaming about how Obama's some kinda evil sorcerer who hates America because he's calling on his African Usurper God to bestow blessings on a buncha black people in Haiti.
And you know none of that's particularly funny because you know it's a little too close to the fucking truth.
Today's Eternal Sadness
Another day, another 1.64 dead children.
CLEVELAND (AP) — A 3-year-old boy picked up an unattended gun inside a home and it went off, shooting a 1-year-old boy in the head and killing him Sunday afternoon, police said.
Cleveland Police Chief Calvin Williams said investigators are trying to determine where the gun came from.
Emergency workers said the 1-year-old was taken to a hospital and pronounced dead.
Full details about the shooting on the city's east side weren't released, but Williams said at least one adult was home when it happened.
"It's a sad day for Cleveland," he told reporters outside the home. "This fascination that we have with handguns, not just in this city but in this country, has to stop. This is a senseless loss of life."
Cleveland.com (http://bit.ly/1I5oHQ6) reports that the boy's mother could be heard screaming on the back porch after learning her son had died.Neighbors told the news website the mother lived in the house with at least three small children.
"They were really nice," next-door neighbor Larry Simpson said of the family. "It's a shame this had to happen."
It was absolutely not something that "had to happen", Mr Simpson. And statements like that are a good indication of the kind of unconsciously malicious and deliberately ignorant viewpoint that makes these "accidents" inevitable.
Apr 10, 2015
Tunes For Friday
The Walk --Mayer Hawthorne
Harvest Moon --Bedlam
Same Ol' Me --Amazing Rhythm Aces
Little Green Bag --The George Baker Selection
This Or That (cover) --Dianne Reeves
Number 20,526,718
...but number 1 in your hearts!
As per Alexa:
Phrasing update: "Opinions are like blogs - every asshole's got one".
As per Alexa:
Phrasing update: "Opinions are like blogs - every asshole's got one".
Apr 8, 2015
The Big Show
This wasn't an announcement so much as an attempted Product Roll-out. But anyway, once they actually got to the point, we got all the usual bullshit. Liberty, justice and personal responsibility.
He's gonna get the economy cookin' by FREEDOM (privatization)!!!
He's gonna break the cycle of Poverty-Lousy Schools-Unemployment-&-Crime by PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY (privatization)!!!
He's gonna get the federal government under control by JUSTICE (privatization)!!!
And he's gonna Take Our Country Back!!!!!!!!!!
I slag the Press Poodles a lot. And this crap from yesterday is a fair example of why I slag the Press Poodles a lot. There was almost no real policy in anything Paul had to say. There was lots of jingoism and the obligatory attempts to seem "Reaganesque" - which for Lil Randy just made him look like the standard 2-year-old wearing daddy's great big shoes. And nobody said anything about any of that.
I don't think it's unreasonable for me to expect somebody to ask one or two obvious-as-fuck questions when these guys disgorge some of the less meaningful (ie: Content-Free) bromides that their focus group gurus feed them.
Senator Paul: "..we're going to take this country back."
Press Poodle: "Take it back from whom? Who has it?"
-or-
Poodle: "Take the country back ... to the 1950s? - the 1890s? the 18th century?"
In the end, what this guy wants is to take what's left of this country away from all of us and sell it to his buddies. So he needs us to go along with the toxic notion that the Noble Rich are the only ones who worked their asses off to build this joint and so they're the only ones who deserve to cash in on it now. Unfortunately, he's got a fuck-ton of self-loathing rubes standing in line, looking for an excuse to start turning over all the wrong tables and throwing shit thru all the wrong windows.
When there's so much money and power concentrated in so few hands, and when the rest of us are left with nothing more to lose, guess what happens. Paraphrasing: rebellion is the language of the powerless.
We'd best be making sure we've got this thing pointed in the right direction.
Apr 6, 2015
Today's Quote
It occurs to me that seeing all those Islamist martyrs blowing themselves up and crashing various modes of transportation into various symbols of Western Colonialism or whatever, Americans are feeling a bit challenged.
"We own this fuckin' joint and nobody ever out-maniacs America. USA! USA!"
But we'll do it our own way, thanks and fuck you very much.
From Addicting Info:
Like the equally discriminatory Memories Pizza, in Indiana, which has earned over $800,000 in sympathy donations so far, Stutzman’s own GoFundMe campaign has pulled in nearly $90,000.
According to The Seattle Times, almost half of the money Stutzman has gained so far has been picked up in the last few days, though. It seems her campaign, created back in February, may be getting a fresh insurgence of support on the coattails of the Memories Pizza success.
It’s always interesting to see in the dirty, sell-anything world of capitalism when Jesus and morals win, isn’t it? Yes, you too can hate and get paid!
Stutzman was fined by the Benton County Superior Court last month for refusing service to a same-sex couple two years ago, claiming her Southern Baptist beliefs prohibited her from doing so. She is the owner of Arlene’s Flowers and Gifts.
So what’s the moral of this story, and is it anything remotely “Christian?”
So in light of this "hot new fashion trend" of good Christian entrepreneurs lining up to make a show of their eagerness to become martyrs to the noble cause of TheoCommercialist Bigotry, I tho't Mencken's quote from about 90 years ago might be timely.
“No one in this world, so far as I know — and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me — has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.” --HL Mencken, Chicago Tribune 1926One of the favorite themes of all three of the Book Religions is the one about being Persecuted For Your Faith. And it doesn't matter that you're a totally dominant majority of your country's population. If there's any chance for you to reaffirm one of the big deal tenets of your religion, you jump on it. It also doesn't matter if you have to make up some shit about your current circumstances to get everything to fit, because religion is all about making shit up to begin with.
I guess I'm a little surprised that anybody - including me - is at all surprised by any of this.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 4, 2015
Another Good One
History.
Forget your own history, and you won't know who you are. You'll lose the understanding of yourself.
So if I can change the historical narrative, I can make you believe you're someone other than who you are.
And then it'll be just that tiny bit easier for me to influence (if not control) your thinking and your behavior.
The Professional Left podcast (via Stitcher):
Forget your own history, and you won't know who you are. You'll lose the understanding of yourself.
So if I can change the historical narrative, I can make you believe you're someone other than who you are.
And then it'll be just that tiny bit easier for me to influence (if not control) your thinking and your behavior.
The Professional Left podcast (via Stitcher):
Things Jesus Never Said
Following the trend:
'Do not welcome strangers.' #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Isabel Losada (@IsabelLosada) April 4, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid "It's an act of God when kids get shot on playgrounds." @glencasada @BillHaslam #tnlege http://t.co/saAWBlZELZ
— Demanda Evers (@ActUpSpeakOut) April 4, 2015
"Blessed are the cherry-picking fundamentalists for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." #ThingsJesusNeverSaid .@JohnFugelsang
— Kenny Pick (@kenpickles) April 2, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid I will only heal you if you can prove you didn't have this illness when we first met.
— MATTY ICE (@MattyIceAZ) April 2, 2015
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid "I'd like my life to inspire a massive pompous money-grubbing global corporation that harbours child abusers"
— Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) April 2, 2015
Why are we all sitting on the same side of the table? #ThingsJesusNeverSaid pic.twitter.com/esVy9LyCC5
— Jonathan (@Haymaker710) April 2, 2015
#thingsJesusneversaid Anything in English
— David Andignac Jr (@RwdaveJr) April 2, 2015
#thingsJesusneversaid pic.twitter.com/mqEI5Xlgr8
— Celeste Smith (@celestemsw) March 15, 2015
"Bomb them, Father, for we don't know what we're doing." #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— Andrew Wilson (@AJWTheology) February 16, 2015
When someone hits you on the cheek, shoot him #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
— chattelgirl (@chattelgirl) November 2, 2014
"Go into all the world and make republicans." #thingsjesusneversaid
— Stephen Collins (@stephenNcollins) November 8, 2013
hat tip = Addicting Info
Apr 3, 2015
Today In GlennBeck-istan
Christian holocaust. The delusions of persecution just get deeper and deeper, right along with the phat stacks of spending green in Glenn Beck's bank accounts.
Bad Senator - Bad Bad Senator
Bob Menendez may be carted off the field pretty soon - for stepping on his own dick with a track shoe. And while I won't say it shouldn't happen, I guess I could say this looks a whole lot like Praising-By-Faint-Damnation.
It's pretty obvious ol' Bob is a fine example of the kinda Coin-Operated Politician I love to slag. The guy sold favors. He used the power of his office to grease the skids for a buddy in exchange for campaign donations. First, let's be real clear - this should come as no surprise to anybody. It's a manifestation of the system of legalized bribery we've developed. I'm a lot more amazed that Bob's buddy, Salomon Melgen was willing to pay $750k in campaign contributions to get visas for a coupla Dominican girlfriends - that is some top-shelf high-priced pussy, my friend - and hey, what else is this guy willing to overpay for? And how do I get in on that action?
(sorry, not sorry - even if you think I should be a bit more restrained in my expression, or that I'm being cynical because of course we're all supposed to have evolved enough to believe power and money are used for better purposes, thinking they won't be used in the traditionally relentless pursuit of sex is just silly).
But that leads me to the second thing, which is: what the fuck - Bob Menendez is the guy we need to go after? Maybe that's why there's not a whole big magillah being made about it - yet. Or maybe there's a lot more to it(?) - like maybe everybody else is really busy making sure all their own hookers and pimps are properly masked before they jump into it. Dunno, but it is politics after all. And it's Jersey to boot.
It's pretty obvious ol' Bob is a fine example of the kinda Coin-Operated Politician I love to slag. The guy sold favors. He used the power of his office to grease the skids for a buddy in exchange for campaign donations. First, let's be real clear - this should come as no surprise to anybody. It's a manifestation of the system of legalized bribery we've developed. I'm a lot more amazed that Bob's buddy, Salomon Melgen was willing to pay $750k in campaign contributions to get visas for a coupla Dominican girlfriends - that is some top-shelf high-priced pussy, my friend - and hey, what else is this guy willing to overpay for? And how do I get in on that action?
(sorry, not sorry - even if you think I should be a bit more restrained in my expression, or that I'm being cynical because of course we're all supposed to have evolved enough to believe power and money are used for better purposes, thinking they won't be used in the traditionally relentless pursuit of sex is just silly).
But that leads me to the second thing, which is: what the fuck - Bob Menendez is the guy we need to go after? Maybe that's why there's not a whole big magillah being made about it - yet. Or maybe there's a lot more to it(?) - like maybe everybody else is really busy making sure all their own hookers and pimps are properly masked before they jump into it. Dunno, but it is politics after all. And it's Jersey to boot.
Apr 2, 2015
This Modern GOP
(I was desperately hoping this was some kind of April Fools gag - but alas, Beshear put his name to this crap and sent it to SCOTUS ... and so the search for intelligent life among Republicans continues)
Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear's administration is arguing the state's ban on same-sex marriage isn't discriminatory because it applies to straight people, too.
"Kentucky’s marriage laws treat homosexuals and heterosexuals the same and are facially neutral. Men and women, whether heterosexual or homosexual, are free to marry persons of the opposite sex under Kentucky law, and men and women, whether heterosexual or homosexual, cannot marry persons of the same sex under Kentucky law," the Democratic governor said in a brief filed with the Supreme Court on March 27.That's what passes for "logical thinking" in the GOP now.
So the argument in favor of (eg) the anti-miscegenation laws in the Jim Crow era would be: "the laws against Inter-Racial Marriage are not at all discriminatory because they make it illegal for both whites and blacks to marry outside their race".
It seems so easy to identify this Beshear guy as just another dipwad politico pandering to a slice of the voter demographic. My standard complaint is that he needs the rubes to send him their butter-n-egg money on a regular basis, and he needs to count on 'em showing up on election day, so he needs to rile 'em up with some bullshit issue-du-jour that keeps them feeling justified in thinking they have somebody they can spit on (which keeps them too busy to notice what Beshear's bosses are doing to them and everybody else); and that what he can't afford to let happen is for any one slice of the voter demographic to make common cause with certain other slices of the voter demographic, because if we ever really get hip to these divide-and-conquer strategies, these guys are toast.
But my main problem now is that it seems like Beshear (eg) isn't simply making cynical calculations on how to stay in power. It's possible he's just not good at the Rhetorical Spin Game, but I'm thinking some of these guys actually believe the shit they say. How does Beshear try to make that point if he's not a true believer?
Seriously - we gotta stop electing these assholes. We have to show up and vote every time we get the chance.
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