Today's Today

(Tomorrow, actually - I just wanted to give y'all the heads up so you don't miss something important)

Happy Go Topless Day, everybody.

Not that I'm obsessed or anything.

99 Words For Boobs
Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds 
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas 
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors 
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors 
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice 
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights 
Every day I probably use 
99 words for boobs 

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys 
Double lattes, Ode to Joys 
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors 
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters 
Double-WMD's 
MRE's and PFD's 
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes 
99 words for boobs 

Gerber servers, holy grails 
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales 
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers 
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers 
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos 
Soft-serve cones and armadillos 
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes 
99 words for boobs 

Midget earmuffs, warming globes 
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes 
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers 
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers 
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs 
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs 
Jogging partners, saline noobs 
99 words for boobs 

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers 
Rubber baby buggy bumpers 
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas 
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas 
Congo bongos, bowling pins 
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins

And More
1. Abbott and Costello
2. airbags
3. B1 and B2
4. babaloos
5. baby feeders
6. badoinkies
7. balloons
8. baloobas
9. baps
10. bazookas
11. bazoomas
12. bazoombas
13. bee-stings
14. Ben and Jerry
15. Bert and Ernie
16. Berthas
17. bijongas
18. billibongs
19. blinkers
20. Bob and Ray
21. bombs
22. Bonnie and Clyde
23. boobs
24. boobies
25. boobsters
26. boops
27. bosoms
28. bottles
29. boulders
30. Brad Pitts
31. bristols
32. bumpers
33. cans
34. cantaloupes
35. cha-chas
36. chesticles
37. chumbawumbas
38. coconuts
39. cupcakes
40. dairy pillows
41. Danny DeVitos
42. David and Goliath
43. devil's dumplings
44. dinglebobbers
45. dugs
46. dumplings
47. Durantes
48. Eartha Kitts
49. Eisenhowers
50. flapdoodles
51. Fred and Ethel
52. funbags
53. gazongas
54. George and Gracie
55. gobstoppers
56. God’s milk bottles
57. Godzillas
58. Goodyears
59. goombas
60. grillwork
61. headlamps
62. headlights
63. high beams
64. Holmes and Watson
65. honkers
66. hood ornaments
67. hooters
68. hubcaps
69. hummers
70. Isaac Newtons
71. jahoobies
72. John and Paul
73. jugs
74. kagemushas
75. kawangas
76. knockers
77. Lewinskis
78. Lilo and Stitch
79. magambos
80. Mahatmas
81. mammaries
82. mau maus
83. melons
84. Mickey and Minnie
85. Mike and Ike
86. milk bombs
87. milk jugs
88. milk wagons
89. milkmakers
90. milkshakes
91. Mobutus
92. mounds
93. muffins
94. Mulligans
95. Murphys
96. nay-nays
97. neeners
98. ninnies
99. norks
100. num-nums
101. pair
102. palookas
103. Pia Zadoras
104. pillows
105. puppies
106. pushmatahas
107. rack
108. rib bumpers
109. rivets
110. rotors
111. shabba-dos
112. shlobes
113. shmozobs
114. snow tires
115. soombas
116. speed bumps
117. splazoingas
118. squachies
119. tatas
120. teetees
121. Thelma and Louise
122. tishomingos
123. tits
124. titties
125. torpedoes
126. Tweedledee and Tweedledum
127. tweeters
128. twekkers
129. Volvos
130. wahwahs
131. whimwhams
132. Wilsons
133. windshield wipers
134. Winnebagos
135. wopbopaloobops
136. yahoos
137. yazoos138. ying-yangs  

Today's Podcast

On Stitcher:



Another good one.

Especially the bits about how some of the big "conservative" writers have begun saying that maybe the GOP oughta get on board with the whole ObamaCare thing; and it might not be such a bad idea to stop just pimping the Tax Cuts For Rich People thing cuz gee, it's starting to make us look like a buncha dopes. Very interesting.

And here's the original website, where you can make a donation or click on the Amazon link and help 'em out just by spending a few bucks for stuff you were gonna buy anyway (costs you nothing extra):  The Professional Left Podcast 

Answers

For a good long time, some very clever "conservatives" have been wondering (very loudly and very smugly) why it is that Da Gubmint insists Americans are so stoopid, we need silly stuff like:

--and--

Who doesn't know this shit, right?  Who could possibly be so stupid - maybe we should just get rid of those labels and let the whole problem with stoopid people sort itself out.

And we laughed and laughed - but then it got really really not funny, because...

--and--

--and--

Any more questions on that one?

OK good - so, on to the next point - stop thinking this shit happens by accident. 

Cause and Effect, bitches.

I'm not saying there's a giant conspiracy afoot and there's some super-genius pulling all the strings and blah blah blah.  I'm just trying to stay aware that there are some very smart people who have no scruples, and who will take every opportunity to pimp anything they think might work in their favor and further their ambitions.

It's pretty easy to see when it's a Donald Trump doing it.  Trump is the latest version in a pretty long line of The Empty Vessel Politician, and he's being filled to overflowing with exactly what we don't want in a world leader.

It's harder to see it clearly when it's a Hillary Clinton because at least she does most of her own thinking (tho' I also have to say it's a lot easier to push Clinton in the right direction). That said, she may look like Gandhi compared with Trump, but she is not.

Hillary is at least partly an old school power politics kinda politico.  She knows the game and she works the angles and she gets what she wants more often than not. Vote Blue and send people to DC to keep her honest - but stay awake and keep the pressure on.

Cuz BTW - there's a buncha folks who like it when we refuse to watch the sausage being made. Sometimes it seems like they go outa their way to make the process as ugly as possible so we'll get sick of it and blew it off.  So I gotta figure if they wanted us to participate, they wouldn't go on doing everything they can do to push us away. And if they're trying to freeze me out, then I take that as my cue to kick down the door and elbow my way into the middle of the room to see just what the fuck they're up to.

Drop-Kick Me, Jesus

The whole banana from Andy Borowitz at The New Yorker:

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The billionaire Donald J. Trump’s bid to become a born-again Christian failed over the weekend after Jesus Christ turned down his friend request, campaign officials have acknowledged.

Jesus, who has not generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance on the social network on Monday to announce His decision to ignore the presumptive Republican nominee’s request for a personal relationship with Him.

In a brief post, Jesus offered the following explanation: “Just everything.”

The turndown from Jesus Christ, the inspiration behind one of the world’s most prominent religions, caps what has been a tough month for the Trump campaign.

Privately, campaign staffers fretted that the candidate would pen a disparaging tweet about Jesus, which might alienate evangelical voters in key battleground states.

But, at a rally in Pennsylvania, Trump made no reference to Jesus, and instead touted endorsements he had received from Gary Busey, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Joe (the Plumber) Wurzelbacher.

hat tip = FB friend VW-E

Seriously Now, Kids

...just what the fuck is going on here?

Live By Social Media

...die by social media

VIDEO (again): Trump state fair hall not packed full as he falsely claims. pic.twitter.com/RqnKoPJzHz

— Ed O'Keefe (@edatpost) August 24, 2016

And then twitter kinda blew up with it - a few samples:

@edatpost pic.twitter.com/T8sFNRhLNl

— Jerry Jordan (@Jerry_Jordan) August 24, 2016

@edatpost A mostly empty hall of white people. Seems about par for the course for Trump rallies nowadays.

— Big Bo (@mellymel12321) August 24, 2016

@edatpost @NoahCRothman Wowsa. Spinal Tap and the puppet show had better attendance.

— Marshall Power Locke (@MarshallLocke) August 24, 2016

Trump seems to be doing with his "campaign" what he's always done with his "businesses" - he's running into the ground.

So yeah - let's hire that guy and turn it all over to the slugs and leeches he'll subcontract it out to.

 

hat tip = Bipartisan Report

Today's Tweet

Check the trunk again. the press will be here any moment. pic.twitter.com/TmIvlkUJLv

— Norm Clark (@Normsmusic) August 25, 2016

Trae Crowder

Today's Wile E GOP

From Raw Story:

This is currently what the POTUS section of the Minnesota 2016 ballot looks like:

You may have noticed that the name of one Donald Trump is missing.  This seems to be due to the Trump folk not having a firm grip on the rules in Minnesota, and so they've neglected to fulfill a small technicality ie: nominating Alternate Electors.  Which, apparently isn't really odd or different since almost every state has pretty much the same rules.

On the first pass, I'm like - this bunch could fuck up a 2-car parade.  Are these really the people we want running the joint?

But then again, given all the weird shit that's been going on, I can't be sure this isn't a deal where the Minnesota GOP is looking to fuck Trump over.  Or maybe it's Trump doing a very Trump-ey thing by trying to make sure his claims of "rigged election" have some plausibility.

But then again (again), it could be more strong evidence that the GOP is just hopelessly fucked up altogether - Trump tho't Minnesota GOP had it covered, who tho't Reince Priebus had it covered, who tho't, "Fuck this - I'm just gonna stay drunk for a coupla months".

Today's Tweet

I dunno - "Orwellian" just doesn't seem adequate for this shit anymore.

0_0 pic.twitter.com/MNjSmihTJj

— David Freddoso (@freddoso) August 25, 2016

And you can hear the news lady (Brianna Keilar) start to laugh at the very end.

Today's Pix

click a pic to biggen it up

Today's GIF

Trump's latest "pivot"

Today's Hillary

Just in the last several years:

Hillary's emails:
Looks bad, and while there's a few bits and pieces, nothing to get your panties in a bunch over.

DNC emails:
Democrats "conspiring" to nominate a Democrat. Color me unsurprised. Moving on.

Benghazi!!!!!:
Get fucking serious.

"Scandal" after "scandal" for 25 years; and 25 years of "oooh, this time for sure; those indictments are coming any minute now" - and there's just never ever anything that amounts to more than a little nose-wrinkle?

Now, we can add The Clinton Foundation thing to the pile.

Tuesday afternoon, Stephen Braun and Eileen Sullivan of the Associated Press released the results of a review of State Department appointment data that they used to make some striking claims about Hillary Clinton’s schedule as secretary of state.

According to their reporting, Clinton spent a remarkably large share of her time as America’s chief diplomat talking to people who had donated money to the Clinton Foundation. She went out of her way to help these Clinton Foundation donors, and her decision to do so raises important concerns about the ethics of her conduct as secretary and potentially as president. It’s a striking piece of reporting that made immediate waves in my social media feed, as political journalists of all stripes retweeted the story’s headline conclusions.

Except it turns out not to be true. The nut fact that the AP uses to lead its coverage is wrong, and Braun and Sullivan’s reporting reveals absolutely no unethical conduct. In fact, they found so little unethical conduct that an enormous amount of space is taken up by a detailed recounting of the time Clinton tried to help a former Nobel Peace Prize winner who’s also the recipient of a Congressional Gold Medal and a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Here’s the bottom line: Serving as secretary of state while your husband raises millions of dollars for a charitable foundation that is also a vehicle for your family’s political ambitions really does create a lot of space for potential conflicts of interest. Journalists have, rightly, scrutinized the situation closely. And however many times they take a run at it, they don’t come up with anything more scandalous than the revelation that maybe billionaire philanthropists have an easier time getting the State Department to look into their visa problems than an ordinary person would.

If there's really anything there, and she always just gets away with it, then the fact that 25 years of hard snooping, GOP Congressional Investigations and many many millions of dollars spent - to find practically nothing - all of that would have to mean Hillary Clinton is the most amazing of all evil genius super-criminal masterminds ever - and she's not.

I'm not a fan.  I try to trust politicians no farther that I could spit one of 'em.  But at a certain point, since this particular politician is the one we've got, maybe we could figure out how to take 'yes' for an answer, admit that we agree with her on some things, help her do the things she says she agrees with us on, and always keep the pressure on her to do those other things.  You know - kinda do that thing we like to call, uhmm, what is again? Oh yeah - Politics.

And all the rest of that shit?  You're not getting any of that - wish for something else.

  

Today's Press Poodling

(all of this was front page at HuffPo as of about 11:40am today)

Because of this:

We get all this:

Don't get me wrong, I want to know about the negative side of Hillary's ledger.  But does it really have to be part of an obvious attempt at artificially pimping the horse race narrative?

Today's Tweet

George Zimmerman is a hero to everyone who wants to legally kill the person kicking your ass in a fight you started.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) August 5, 2016