NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The billionaire Donald J. Trump’s bid to become a born-again Christian failed over the weekend after Jesus Christ turned down his friend request, campaign officials have acknowledged.
Trump: "We will repeal and replace Obamacare." https://t.co/02FZSPs1J3 https://t.co/8McfJ9OmCn— CNN (@CNN) October 22, 2016
They have not brought a major scandal to the surface, at least not yet, and even won praise from some supporters like The Post’s editorial page, which said they showed Mrs. Clinton’s “sound policy instincts.” They’ve certainly not blown up the system, as might happen in a more closed, undemocratic form of government.
If repressive foreign governments want to make a regular thing of hacking into United States leaders’ email to undermine the country, and domestic politicians like Mr. Trump want to keep embracing that kind of “help,” then the news media may have to rethink how to handle it.
But so far, the hacks have only proved that the United States system knows how to process reality and can handle the truth, which should encourage our leaders to offer more of it.
So for that much, I guess, thanks, Vladimir Putin. Now, ready to share youremails?There could be a lot more to "the emails" than I've seen - and fake lord knows I haven't seen a whole helluva lot, so I could be standing on the warning track way the fuck off in left field - but I've been wondering for a while why the emails are always and only about the Dems, and never the Repubs, and it seems most of the Press Poodles never make it clear that they include anything that could be considered exculpatory in any real way.
NEW: If a foreign leader insulted and threatened America the way @realDonaldTrump has - how would we react? https://t.co/ElutkVuCiG— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) October 24, 2016
What do @realDonaldTrump a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early Nov. pic.twitter.com/zLuqpwyOVr— Keifer Rockburn (@keiferla) October 23, 2016
How big of a slime-ball does a person have to be to get booed at a religious charity fundraiser? #AlSmithDinner @realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/Fglplbr5ti— Col. Morris Davis (@ColMorrisDavis) October 21, 2016
With polls showing Donald Trump hurtling toward a landslide loss to Hillary Clinton, the Republican presidential nominee is already calling for a do-over. Whether it’s to save face or to set the stage for a post-election media play, Trump has effectively stopped talking about any policy issues, instead focusing his fire on the “rigged” electoral system itself. It is a message he reiterated Wednesday night during the final presidential debate, when he refused to say whether he’d accept the results of the election if he loses. “I will keep you in suspense,” he said.
A growing number of concerned Republicans are standing up and speaking out.
Among them is Chris Ashby, a lawyer specializing in election law, who has monitored elections in the United States for over 15 years. “The election is not rigged. In fact, it’s anti-rigged,” Ashby wrote in an article and in a series of tweets that went viral earlier this week. “To rig an election, you would need technological capabilities that exist only in Mission Impossible movies,” he explained—and implying otherwise risks damaging Americans’ faith in the electoral system.
We called Ashby up to walk us through why Trump’s “rigged election” rhetoric is wrong, and how it could continue to resonate beyond November 8.
