Slouching Towards Oblivion

Showing posts with label business of religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label business of religion. Show all posts

Saturday, October 28, 2023

Because Of Course


I'm pretty sure that some religious folk and their leaders are at least well-intentioned, but I find it nigh-on to impossible to believe there's anything but cynical manipulation going on at any "mega-church". There's always something sketchy about these people.


Head of megachurch, in prison for sex abuse, is charged with producing child pornography

Naasón Joaquín García leads the Mexico-based megachurch La Luz del Mundo, which has congregations in the U.S. and other countries and claims to have millions of followers.


LOS ANGELES — The imprisoned head of a Mexico-based megachurch who is serving more than 16 years in a California prison for sexually abusing young followers was charged with two federal crimes Wednesday for allegedly producing child pornography.

A federal grand jury in Los Angeles on Wednesday indicted Naasón Joaquín García, 54, on two felony counts of producing and possessing child pornography, which involved a 16-year-old follower of his church, according to a statement from the U.S. attorney’s office.

When García was arrested in 2019, prosecutors said he had an iPad that contained five videos depicting the then-teenage girl engaging in sexual activity.

“We did not indict until after the state case was finished,” the U.S. attorney’s office stated in an email to the Associated Press.

García heads the megachurch La Luz del Mundo (The Light of the World), which claims to have 5 million followers worldwide, including in the U.S. Believers consider him to be the “apostle” of Jesus Christ. Founded by García's grandfather in the 1920s, it is the largest evangelical church in Mexico.

But prosecutors in California say García used his spiritual sway to have sex with girls and young women who were told it would lead to their salvation — or damnation if they refused.

An email from the Associated Press seeking comment from the church on the new federal charges wasn’t immediately returned Wednesday.

The church has publicly stood by García and in June 2022 issued a statement on Twitter, saying that “our confidence in him remains intact with full knowledge of his integrity, his conduct and his work.”

García is currently serving a prison sentence at the California Institution for Men in Chino. Last year, he pleaded guilty to two state counts of forcible oral copulation involving minors and one count of a lewd act upon a child who was 15 at the time. García was registered as a sex offender for life.

In exchange for García’s plea deal, California prosecutors dropped 16 counts that included allegations of raping children and women, as well as human trafficking to produce child pornography.

The church said at the time that García pleaded guilty because he did not think he could get a fair trial, claiming that prosecutors withheld or doctored evidence and the agreement would allow him to be freed sooner.

Several of García’s accusers, each identified in court only as Jane Doe and who are now young adults, spoke at his trial and decried the plea agreement as too lenient. They had added that they were not consulted on the deal that García reached with the California Attorney General’s Office.

In June, former parishioners and those with relatives in the church protested outside the La Luz del Mundo church in East Los Angeles, alleging that there is abuse still taking place in the church. Some protesters also claimed they or their family members were sexually abused.

But García has followers that defend his leadership, with one of them telling Noticias Telemundo last year that “his honor is not in doubt.”

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The abuse in the La Luz del Mundo church was the subject of a 2022 HBO documentary called “Unveiled: Surviving La Luz del Mundo,” as well as a 2023 Netflix documentary called “The Darkness Within La Luz del Mundo.”

If convicted of the federal charges, García could face 15 to 30 years in federal prison for producing child pornography and up to 10 years in prison for possessing it. A judge would decide whether he serves the time concurrently or in addition to his state sentence, according to the U.S. attorney’s office.

In an interview with Noticias Telemundo after García's conviction in 2022, attorney Jonati Yedidsion said the accusers were planning to file civil lawsuits against other church officials, claiming they were complicit in the abuse.

Saturday, July 10, 2021

The Eternal Grift

Prostitution is known as the "oldest profession", but that's only because religion needed to deflect - to blame someone else - to make themselves look good by comparison. So the god-knobbers have gone to great lengths to convince us that they're the "good people", and that all those honest hard-working whores made it up for themselves - that they couldn't possibly have learned it from the real pros.

Like everybody else, I get emails from the oddest places sometimes.

A couple that popped in yesterday:


- and -


From two supposedly different outfits, but which look suspiciously alike - probably because they have the same mailing address in North Carolina, and they both point to the same website, selling the same bullshit "miracle elixir".


Water. They're selling magic water.

Except of course, they're not really selling water - that's just how they offset some of the their marketing costs. What they're selling is the email list they generate as people click on the link and hand over their info in exchange for a little bias confirmation video - and hey, while you've here anyway, why not throw a few bucks in the collection plate?

And BTW, "The Oldest Profession", my dyin' ass.  Business starts with demand - somebody had to ask for it - and that's where Marketing comes in.

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Today's Tweet



Nobody goes broke overestimating the gullibility of the average rube.


Esquire has the full accounting of it:

More than that, though, his presidency persists despite the eruptions of public insanity and the felonies in office and the obvious corruption and the authoritarian onslaught against the institutions of our democracy because other people are making money. The market has mostly been strong, so Wall Street and Big Business have been happy, and then you throw in his trillion-dollar tax-cut giveaway to rich people and corporations. (What constitutional crisis? I'm on a yacht!) The lobbyists and special interests are thriving in the New Swamp—now headquartered at the Trump International Hotel, a beacon of the most brazen corruption—and must surely be enjoying this more direct model of crony capitalism. 

There's nothing like a televangelist to remind you this is a nation of salesmen.

Grifters from all over have greased into his Cabinet and administration, either to live high on the hog on the taxpayer dime or do some favors for industry so they'll get handed a sack of cash when they head through the Revolving Door. Fox News and conservative media and right-wing youth groups are all feeding The Base of aging Caucasians a steady diet of resentment and fear of a changing world in exchange for advertising revenue and donor cash.

And of course, the Evangelical leaders who backed Trump without regard for any discernible Christian principle are having a grand old time. There's nothing like a televangelist to remind you this is a nation of salesmen, and that more often than not, they're peddling snake oil. The latest example comes to us via the Jim Bakker Show, and an intriguing chap who goes by Dr. Lance Wallnau.

That's right: this man says The Lord—the Almighty God who created the Universe, and who exists in the realm beyond space and time—told him this coin is the "point of contact" between people praying for President Trump's success. And it's only $45! And, as luck would have it, the same guy who spoke to God Himself about this coin is also selling the coin, right now!

We are so fucked.

Friday, September 01, 2017

Will The Real God Please Stand Up

Joel Osteen took a (mostly) richly deserved slagging this past week because of his ridiculous "response" to the Harvey mess in Houston.

A fellow goddie takes him to task (John Pavolovitz, Stuff That Needs To Be Said):

Dear Joel Osteen,

Over the past few days you’ve faced an unrelenting wave of Internet shaming, and you’ve experienced the wrath of millions of people who watched the week unfold and determined they were witnessing in you and your megachurch’s response to the hurricane—everything they believe is wrong about organized Christianity; its self-serving greed, its callousness, its tone-deafness in the face of a hurting multitude, its lack of something that looks like Jesus.

They questioned your initial silence and your closed doors.

They watched with disdain as local Mosques and furniture stores rushed to receive newly homeless victims while you waited.

They shook their heads at the conflicting stories of a flooded church and impassable roads.

They lamented you tweeting out that “God was still on his Throne,” while thousands of your neighbors were literally under water.

They saw your social media expressions of “thoughts and prayers” as hollow and disingenuous, knowing the stockpile of other resources at your disposal.

They witnessed with disgust what they deemed as your late and underwhelming act of kindness performed under duress.

They raged at your excuse that Houston didn’t ask you to receive victims—because (whether Christian or not) they realized that Jesus’ life was marked by an overflow of generosity and compassion and sacrifice that rarely required official invitation.

As a result of the pushback and condemnation you received, I imagine you feel like this has been a rough week. It hasn’t. You’ve had the week you probably should have had, all this considered. You’ve had the week that was coming long before rain ever started falling in Houston.
I kinda stepped in my own shit on Facebook a few days ago when I Share-Posted a meme from Occupy Democrats, that got debunked at Snopes:


It sounded about right to me - partly because it confirms my bias. So, as usual, I posted it with the caveat that some of those churches likely had good reasons for not responding.  

I was thinking those reasons were all about the flooding, but there was also the point made by FEMA that I missed - sometimes, well-meaning efforts to help can end up making matters worse if they're not done properly.

There are stories about some neighborhood churches taking in the locals without having made adequate provisions for food water sanitation and security.

But none of that makes what Joel Osteen is doing (or not doing) OK.

I have practically no use for anybody who sells nothing as if it were something. Especially when they have a chance to substantiate their baloney in a real-world circumstance and still deliver nothing of substance.

Tuesday, September 06, 2016

Bible Bust

I guess we should keep an eye on it, because it's possible that maybe someday, if Ken Hamm can spoof his way thru enough pigeons, he could manage to make it work, but - nah - prob'ly not.

Here's some drone footage from a fairly recent Sunday, about 30 minutes before the place opened.



Now, maybe, the good little Christians were all still at church, but it does seem there could be a bit of a problem considering the break-even number for visitors per day is estimated at about 5,600. That sounds a bit low, but never mind, because it makes no real difference when you only get 10,000 visitors on the whole of opening Weekend. Uh-oh.

Adding to the potentially fatal embarrassment, here are a few pictures I grabbed from The Ark Encounter's website:








Not what I'd called "crowded" cuz, y'know, you kinda need a crowd to be crowded.  And in case you didn't notice, in a coupla those shots, the employees outnumber the visitors - never a good sign.  

Saturday, April 02, 2016

Be It Resolved

I've always had a tough time getting straight with some of the minutiae of Church-State Separation.


There's no doubt in my mind about making sure religious dogma is kept out of the law - that the law can only be about what's provably true, and so the magical mystery bunkum has to be put aside. I'm good on all that.

So, kinda cutting to the chase, my last item is taxation. I've been reluctant to advocate in favor of taxing churches because it seemed like an opening for Government to meddle where government doesn't belong.  But I've come to view that thinking as more of a rationalization. It's politically expedient, but mostly commercially prudent for churches to try to "protect" themselves from "government meddling"; it's not really a question of Separation so much as it's a question of a business interest lobbying for exemptions.

A church is a business. We have a reasonable expectation for every person and every business to pay a share of the taxes necessary to maintain a functioning society. If you enjoy the benefits of police and fire protection, and roads and snow plows, and all the other goodies, then you need to throw a few bucks in the hat for it.  Not to be too obvious, church guys, but it's not a lot different than somebody sitting thru the service and getting the "benefits" of your sermonizing, and then not kicking in when you pass the collection plate.

So why not churches?  We require all the other Mumbo-Jumbo Peddlers to pay and to be appropriately regulated.  The palm reader pays taxes. Crystal Gazers pay taxes. The Reiki Master pays taxes. Etc.

When we decide this "religious" organization is exempt from the law, but that one isn't - and we base the decision on the organization's "religious beliefs" - it just seems like we're doing exactly what the 1st amendment says we're not supposed to do.

We should stop doing that.


Monday, September 28, 2015

Today In Stoopid

The Super Blood Moon got some folks pretty spooked, I guess:
The AP said it’s unclear how many Mormons are buying into the end-of-the-world prophecy, but leaders of the church were concerned enough to issue the statement assuring them that the world is not about to end.
Preparedness is one of the tenets of the Mormon faith, which believes that a period of disasters and tribulations will precede the second coming of Jesus Christ. Many Mormon-built homes in Utah and other southwestern states feature special built-in shelves for rice, flour, canned goods and other nonperishable supplies.
The pronouncement by the church, said Patrick Mason — chair of Mormon studies at Claremont Graduate University in California — indicates that fear of the End Times must be fairly pervasive among Mormon families if church elders felt the need to address it.
“For it to filter up to that level and for them to decide to send out a policy letter means that they felt there was something they needed to tamp down on,” said Mason.
Sometimes I wonder why you'd spend time or effort telling these pea-brains to get ready for the shit when ya gotta know you'll have to talk 'em down off the ledge when they get all worked up and thinking the shit you've been "warning" them about is here and real and happening.

But then I remember this is all part of the big bamboozle anyway, so it's just the cost of doin' bidness.

These particular believers are so thoroughly hornswoggled they're wearing magic underwear.  So I'm thinking it comes as no surprise to church execs when they hear the faithful are willing to buy into some bullshit about the moon.  And of course it's easily debunkable, but why would the rubes not believe it when they've been very well taught to be totally committed to staying ignorant and superstitious?

Satan's greatest trick was convincing us that the people who insist that Satan exists will deal honestly with us if we just give them enough money.

And I don't really have to make this last little connection for anybody, right?

Saturday, September 05, 2015

Today's Lesson In Snake Oil Scams

Erick Erickson (via Media Matters):
What we are learning now is that Republican leaders have no inclination to fight this evil. They have for years been protected by a Washington pro-life establishment that has worked damn hard to keep Bart Stupak listed as a pro-life warrior as he sold out the cause on Obamacare. The pro-life establishment in Washington puts their Republican affiliation ahead of children who are being ripped apart.
[...]
If Republicans and the Washington Pro-Life movement, when confronted by the evil documented on unedited tape, are not willing to defund Planned Parenthood, we should destroy them all, level their organizations to the ground, and spread salt on the remains (metaphorically speaking, of course).
Republicans in Washington have spent more time avoiding their constituents over the August recess than they have fighting for anything in the past several years. Now here is a perfect opportunity to stand up for smaller government, fight evil, and put the left on defense.
Already there are voices on the right saying no, but then they always say no. Already there are voices on the right saying they can't, but then they always say they can't. Already there are voices on the right saying the President will veto it, but the President will always veto it.
And the babies continue to die -- ripped from their mothers wombs and their organs harvested.
If the Republicans will not fight this evil, they should be destroyed.
Every Republican Presidential candidates should be on record on whether they think the GOP should hold the line against funding Planned Parenthood no matter what.
If Republicans in Washington will not stop this and defund Planned Parenthood, Republican voters should take any and all action to destroy the party at the ballot box. If this party will not fight this evil, it will fight no evil and should itself die.
Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Here's the thing: If we lose Planned Parenthood, it's all but certain the number of abortions will go up.  

("Planned Parenthood" - as in not becoming a parent until you actually want to become a parent.  Ya do some planning, and then ya don't get pregnant, and then ya don't need no stinkin' abortion.  Get it?  Kinda what that whole "planned" thing's all about, y'know?)  

Anyway, Erick Erickson needs to kill Planned Parenthood because Erick Erickson needs more abortions so that Erick Erickson can stay famous and powerful and go on making fat stacks by being in the business of railing and wailing about abortion.

It's not really very different from the basics of the God-Knobber Scam.  To wit: "I'm here to convince you that you have an imaginary disease so I can sell you an imaginary cure."  

Ever wonder why the God-Knobbers always seem to be big-time Fetus Pimps too?  Same game, but with a really shitty twist: "I'm gonna make it more likely for you to have a very real problem, so that I can talk the rubes into buying me another house."

The numbers on Erick Erickson's W-2 are directly proportional to the number of abortions in USAmerica Inc.  Can we stop pretending this jagoff has any intention of working himself out a job?

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Mrs Davis Goes To Washington





At this point, Kim Davis has managed to cut thru the information clutter, and she stands at center stage. Which is exactly where she wants to be; which is where all the hypocrites Jeebus warned against want to be.

She's becoming very famous - fame being considered by Display Window Christians to be a preferable substitute for the less-than-satisfying private exaltation promised by their deity. 

And since, by now, she's gotten much helpful advice from the bigger TheoCon Franchisers about the best ways to monetize her faith, she's about to take a nice ride on the Wingnut Welfare Train and become a comfortably wealthy woman.

Is anybody willing to bet she hasn't been spending time with a whole squad of Associate Producers from DumFux News, who're either frantically trying to get her ready for her debut with Sean and Greta, or just as frantically trying to push her off towards Bryan Fischer or Pat Robertson?

And BTW, should we not take a minute and talk about Mrs Davis Goes To Washington?

Monday, August 17, 2015

Today's Oliver

At church last night, The Right Reverend John Oliver broke through to my heart of hearts and I felt the light of the lord shining down upon me as he lifted me up and carried away my worldly sorrows on the wings of angels.

Or maybe what I felt was one hard hand on the back of my collar as he bent me over and then went thru my pockets with the other.  Not sure - mysterious is the way of the lord, brothers and sisters.  Amen, and pass the lube.


And again - why is a weekly comedy show among the very few places we find anyone trying to do some real Journalism-ing?

And also too again - wanna know why "the legitimate press" is dying?  Watch almost anything on TV or read almost anything in any of the dead tree publications that're still around; compare it with Last Week Tonight and then tell me you're still wondering.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Run It Like A Business

Pre-School may be a slightly different animal, but I think the main point is the same - privatization of any kind of schooling takes the last tiny bit of democracy out of the equation.

Flowery mission statements notwithstanding, if you take a top-down authoritarian thing like a church and mix it up with another top-down authoritarian thing like a business, and then smash-fit it around a school, what you get is:  "Give us your money and either shut the fuck up or get the fuck out".

Via HuffPo:
One Florida mother's Facebook status didn't go over so well with her son's preschool.
Mother Ashley Habat recently complained on Facebook after the Sonshine Christian Academy didn't give enough notice about picture day. Even though Habat said her Facebook post was private, she still tagged the school, and the next day she was reportedly told by school administrators that the school would not be a good fit for her son, according to Jacksonville, Florida outlet WJXT-TV.
In the post in question, Habat asked: “Why is it that every single day there is something new I dislike about Will's School? Are my standards really too high or are people working in the education field really just that ignorant.”A letter of dismissal given to Habat from the school said her “relationship with Sonshine did not get off to a very good start the first day of school," stating that she "utilized social media to call into question not only the integrity but the intelligence of our staff. ... These actions are also consistent with sowing discord, which is spoken of in the handbook you signed."
And from News4Jax:
The principal of Sonshine Christian Academy sent News4JAX a response saying, "This is private matter involving the school and a parent." also saying "Due to my concern for families, I am unable to comment on specifics of this situation."
Epic fail from a Customer Relations standpoint.  Ms Habat seems a bit hyper-critical, and maybe she's just somebody who's always slamming people for whatever reasons.  But there're some important tenets of How Not To Fuck Up Your Business:

  • You'll have to go outa your way to accommodate some customers, but it's usually worth the trip.
  • "Revenue Reduction" is not part of our business plan...
  • ...so don't fire the fucking customers.

And now it's a near-epic fail from a PR standpoint because the word is out on Facebook about how rotten this woman thinks that school is, but the the kicker is the classic Non-Statement Statement from the principal - "Due to my concern for families..."  Yeah, that's it, pal - cuz whenever you've got a problem, it's always a good idea to hide behind the children.  You gutless bean-counting Jesus-pimping phony.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Let's All Point And Laugh

...at Ken Ham.
“Life did not evolve but was specially created by God, as Genesis clearly teaches. Christians certainly shouldn’t expect alien life to be cropping up across the universe,” he continued. “Now the Bible doesn’t say whether there is or is not animal or plant life in outer space. I certainly suspect not.”
But regardless of whether there was life in outer space, Ham asserted that it could not be truly “intelligent.”
“You see, the Bible makes it clear that Adam’s sin affected the whole universe. This means that any aliens would also be affected by Adam’s sin, but because they are not Adam’s descendants, they can’t have salvation,” he explained. “Jesus did not become the ‘GodKlingon’ or the ‘GodMartian’! Only descendants of Adam can be saved. God’s Son remains the ‘Godman’ as our Savior.”
via Mock Paper Scissors and Raw Story:
Friendly Atheist blogger Hemant Mehta called Ham’s quest to end the space program “a new low even for him.”
“Jesus Christ, Ken Ham is talking about the eternal damnation of alien life forms,” Mehta wrote. “They’re all going to hell, apparently, and why go in search of life on other planets if they’re all doomed to a lake of fire?”
Kenny insists tho' that he didn't actually say aliens were all doomed to fry - all he says he said is that aliens can't possibly exist because Adam fucked it up for all mankind forever, and aliens aren't "mankind" so if they exist then they can't be saved because god made Earth for a special purpose and that means it's not possible for god to have made any intelligent life anywhere else...uh oh - Ken just said something's not possible for god.  Programming Glitch or Product Feature?

Do you think there might be a shitload of new traffic flooding Ken Ham's websites right now?  Is it unreasonable to make the radical assumption that he's not exactly sad (or surprised) about that?

I really don't mean to be quite the asshole it always seems I am when I ask this particular question of the Bible Thumpers who'll prob'ly flock to Ham's defense even when there's something so obviously Scammy about this whole thing - I just gotta ask the question:  Seriously, guys - are you that fuckin' stupid?

Monday, March 31, 2014

Yo - Brian



At first blush, it's easy to follow Mr Fischer's reasoning as he says he "discriminated", but he wants us to understand that he's not really "discriminating" (tho' of course he is), but no really, he just wants us all to know that he thinks wimmins is all wonderful and capable and competent...but but but flip flop flip.

The not-so-discreet implication is that them wimmins is only wonderful and capable and competent at doin' all that Wimmin's Work, but hey, let's throw the gals a bone, shall we? (even a bad double entendre seems appropriate here because the kinda shit this guy peddles is convoluted enough to confuse a Byzantine Imperator).

Maybe we should talk about the obvious Mommy Issues that are just barely below the surface, but also too, anybody who spends that kinda time and energy gushing about how welcoming and comforting he feels women are - well, maybe we're into a little self-loathing; trying to admit to being a complete dickweed who has none of the loving qualities he says he finds so endearing in women.  Or maybe he's overcompensating a tiny bit because he has doubts about his own manliness.

Or maybe it's just another mundane example of a guy applying a little lubricating flattery to loosen up somebody's panties.

Fucking classic, dude.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Don't Forget Now

...this Sunday is National Back To Church Sunday. Woo-hoo!

So I wanna remind everybody to be sure to find something more useful to do - like go for a hike or take in a movie; or just stay home and alphabetize your Tupperware or re-shingle the doghouse or pick fly shit outa the pepper shaker.  Anything at all.

And if you click on that link - do some shopping, because nothin' says you love Jesus more than good old fashioned e-tail bidness - cuz y'know, if you don't care enough to spend a few bucks in support of The Savior well then don't be surprised to learn he don't love ya back when your time comes - know whadda mean?