The Onion

WASHINGTON—Rushing toward the president as he pressed the eight-inch bit into his temple, several White House aides managed to wrestle a drill from Donald Trump’s hand Monday while he attempted to remove Obama’s listening device from his skull. “Obama implanted a microphone inside my head to record everything I say!” Trump reportedly shouted shortly before three White House staffers pinned him to the floor and pried apart his fingers to seize the power tool. “You don’t understand, he can hear everything we’re saying! Obama can even hear my thoughts! I have to get it out! I can feel it! I can feel it! I can feel it!” At press time, staffers were panicking after Trump locked himself in the bathroom and began cutting his stomach open with a razor blade in an attempt to find the tracking chip he said The New York Times had put in his food.

Today's Tweet

Comey just confirmed both political parties were hacked in 2016 by Russians—but that only Democratic info was released.

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) March 20, 2017

Take a candidate we've been conditioned to dislike - for a good 25 years now - and just play up everything negative even more. Hammer on it night-n-day. It's especially effective when "the dirt" just happens to include the magic word "email", which of course links nicely to the more recent negative inferences about Hillary that were set in place over the last 5 years or so.

Eventually you can move the needle enough to make a difference.

Because advertising works. The world is being run by some pretty smart people (current POTUS notwithstanding), and smart people don't spend $500 Billion a year on shit that don't work.

Keith

Keith Olbermann at GQ

Tiny Desk

Corrinne Bailey Rae

She needs a really great producer, and some better backing vocals, but it sounds promising.

Ignore The Obvious

The house is burning, Trump is casually strolling away carrying matches and an empty gas can, and the GOP congress critters are busy bitchin' about who called the fire department.

(more or less - Garry Kasparov, via Twitter)

Today's GIF

Sean Spicer preparing for the press briefing

Dots

The federal budget is a statement of our values. And our values are now nothing but the kind of Friedmanesque "Rational Self-Interest" that says as long as I get what I want everybody else can take a flyin' fuck at a rollin' donut.

John Oliver:

This is not a philosophy of governance. This is a fucking robbery.

Selective Quote

"When force is the standard, the murderer wins over the pickpocket. And then that society vanishes, in a spread of ruins and slaughter. Do you wish to know whether that day is coming? Watch money. Money is the barometer of a society’s virtue. When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion – when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing – when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors – when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don’t protect you against them, but protect them against you – when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice – you may know that your society is doomed. Money is so noble a medium that it does not compete with guns and it does not make terms with brutality. It will not permit a country to survive as half-property, half-loot."

--Franciso D'Anconia, Atlas Shrugged

The quote is from a speech aimed at shaming the Mooching Masses, and it's the usual junk that developmentally stunted Libertarians love to fantasize about when they rub one out, but there's a truth hidden in it that rings pretty solid right now when the roles are so obviously reversed.

The producers are the workin' guys being fucked over by the Rent-Seekers (aka: Looters, Wage Thieves, Corporate Welfare Leeches, Coin-Operated Politicians, etc) - under the full protection of the Daddy State.

Bonnet Chronicles

WATCH: This Bonnet Chronicles video about Ben Carson has me laughing so hard I'm crying. So good!! https://t.co/zOinFUazCk pic.twitter.com/sF9FuD36Z2

— Yashar (@yashar) March 19, 2017

Tami Roman

Art Oddities

Carlos Enriquez Gomez ( 1900 - 1957)

Zappa

Uncle Remus --Frank Zappa

Wo, are we movin' too slow?
Have you seen us,
Uncle Remus . . .
We look pretty sharp in these clothes (yes, we do)
Unless we get sprayed with a hose
It ain't bad in the day
If they squirt it your way
'Cept in the winter, when it's froze
An' it's hard if it hits
On yer nose
On yer nose

Just keep yer nose
To the grindstone, they say
Will that redeem us,
Uncle Remus . . .
I can't wait till my Fro is full-grown
I'll just throw 'way my Doo-Rag at home
I'll take a drive to BEVERLY HILLS
Just before dawn
An' knock the little jockeys
Off the rich people's lawn
An' before they get up
I'll be gone, I'll be gone
Before they get up
I'll be knocking the jockeys off the lawn
Down in the dew

Written by Frank Vincent Zappa, George Duke • Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group

Yikes

From the front page of the Chicago Tribune yesterday:

So, there is actually a President Bartlet, and they call her Chancellor Merkel.

Angela Merkel has an undergrad in Physics & Physical Chemistry (1978 - Leipzig U), and a doctorate in Quantum Chemistry (1986 - German Academy of Science, Berlin).

Donald Trump can't even spell PhD.

A Climate Timeline

This is from Grist - I tried to capture the whole thing, but it's not working so you should go to Grist.org and take a look. Do that now.

Keep This In Mind

(Paraphrasing)

"You don't have to tell me about your values. Just show me your budget and I'll know exactly what your values are."

--Joe Biden's dad

Another Podcast

You Are Not So Smart --David McRaney

Watch out for 2 things: the Backfire Effect, and the Information Deficit model

"Sometimes a man wants to be stupid if it lets him do a thing his cleverness forbids"

--John Steinbeck

And now we are a little less dumb.