Jun 28, 2016
Today's Tweet
Warning: Do not pull cord indoors. pic.twitter.com/4Xqz4xKeIc— The Darwin Awards (@AwardsDarwin) June 22, 2016
Jun 27, 2016
Today's Quote
"For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal." --JFK 1963
Yay, SCOTUS
The Guardian:
There's nothing going on in my daughter's uterus that's any of your goddamned business.
So butt out
and fuck off
you pinch-faced blue-nosed meddling twatwaffles.
The US supreme court on Monday struck down one of the harshest abortion restrictions in the country and potentially paved the way to overturn similar measures in other states that curtail access, in what might be the most significant legal victory for reproductive rights advocates since the right to abortion was established in 1973.
The 5-3 ruling will immediately prevent Texas from enforcing a law that would have closed all but nine abortion clinics. But in a coup for abortion rights supporters, the court also in effect barred lawmakers from passing health measures backed by dubious medical evidence as a way of forcing large numbers of abortion clinics to close.
Justice Anthony Kennedy, whose support was key to determining if the liberal or conservative bloc of the court would prevail, cast his key vote with the four liberal justices.To reiterate:
There's nothing going on in my daughter's uterus that's any of your goddamned business.
So butt out
and fuck off
you pinch-faced blue-nosed meddling twatwaffles.
More Bad Signs
It's axiomatic that coming between a mama bear and her cubs got nuthin' on the danger of standing between a politician and a TV camera. Apparently, the Trump Effect is making that last part quite a bit safer.
Politico:
Trump was slated to appear in 2012, "for some brief remarks", but that was scratched because "...inclement weather forced cancellation of that day's activities". But - wasn't the thing indoors? That's some pretty bad weather.
At 70% Disapproval, Trump is seriously poisonous to everybody except the diehards and the dead-enders who think they have nothing to left lose and nowhere else to turn.
Politico:
With the convention less than a month away, POLITICO contacted more than 50 prominent governors, senators, and House members to gauge their interest in speaking. Only a few said they were open to it — and everyone else said they either weren’t planning on it, didn’t want to, weren’t going to Cleveland at all, or simply didn’t respond.An interesting little tidbit:
Trump was slated to appear in 2012, "for some brief remarks", but that was scratched because "...inclement weather forced cancellation of that day's activities". But - wasn't the thing indoors? That's some pretty bad weather.
At 70% Disapproval, Trump is seriously poisonous to everybody except the diehards and the dead-enders who think they have nothing to left lose and nowhere else to turn.
And, while many are reluctant to appear onstage in Cleveland, some aren’t. Those pols who’ve thrown their support to Trump, like New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, seem like natural candidates for convention speakers. Montana Rep. Ryan Zinke, a former leader of Navy Seal team that would later kill Osama bin Laden, hopes to get a slot, said a spokeswoman. Zinke has endorsed Trump and recently appeared at one of his rallies.
Jun 26, 2016
A Short Film (NSFW)
Sara Benincasa
Focus Groups - all the satisfaction of overpaying for whatever foregone conclusion you desire, due to the pinpoint accuracy of throwing a bucket of rice at a bull's ass.
BTW - when can we expect the Hipster Bubble to burst? And how do I go about shorting that one?
Today's Tweet
Muslim jihadi wears concrete shield to protect genitals for his 72 virgins. Why don't we honor Muslim inventors? pic.twitter.com/PsbYYZU4L2— Jihadist Wife (@Jihadist2ndWife) June 26, 2016
Scammy McFlimflam
Politico:
During sworn testimony in the Trump University lawsuit, Donald Trump repeatedly said he couldn't recall specific claims, documents or events related to the case, prompting a lawyer for the plaintiffs to ask if the real estate mogul considered himself to have “one of the best memories in the world.”
In response, Trump said he thinks he has a “good” or a “great” memory, but doesn’t recall claiming it’s one of the world’s best, according to hours of previously unreleased testimony in which Trump was questioned by the plaintiffs' lawyer Jason Forge.
“So you don't remember saying that you have one of the best memories in the world?” Forge asked.
“I remember you telling me, but I don't know that I said it,” Trump replied.
Three weeks earlier, during a conversation about 9/11 with NBC News reporter Katy Tur, Trump had said he had “the world’s best memory,” Tur reported.
Jun 25, 2016
Today's Tweet
And it's not because I have something against orange people - I love the oranges.
We should probably not let Trump back to the U.S. until we figure out what's going on.— Dave Stroup (@DaveStroup) June 24, 2016
Today's Podcast
The Professional Left
Main point: a theme is emerging - has emerged - that Trump isn't really a Republican. He's zomby-fied enough GOP rubes to get this far, but "we" hafta stop him before he destroys "our" beloved Republican Party.
'Scuse me? Donald Trump has gathered more Republican Votes in the primaries than any other Republican candidate ever. Donald Trump is going to the convention with more than enough committed delegates - he has 305 more than he needs. He could wipe his ass with those 305 people, and Cruz plus Kasich would still be 200 delegates short.
Donald Trump is the GOP now, because all those GOP voters voted for him - see how that works? He owns what the "Repub Establishment" has been building for the last 30 fucking years.
And also too - driftglass and Blue Gal have been saying exactly that for a long long time.
BTW - Trump read The Snake at a rally back in January, and it's been rattling around in my head ever since, and this is what eventually came tumbling out: When a politician (or a silver-tongued devil of a salesman) spins a yarn obviously intending to warn you, there's a fair probability he's making a subconscious effort to tell you something about himself. And keep in mind, a guy like Trump is always thinking and talking about himself.
Main point: a theme is emerging - has emerged - that Trump isn't really a Republican. He's zomby-fied enough GOP rubes to get this far, but "we" hafta stop him before he destroys "our" beloved Republican Party.
'Scuse me? Donald Trump has gathered more Republican Votes in the primaries than any other Republican candidate ever. Donald Trump is going to the convention with more than enough committed delegates - he has 305 more than he needs. He could wipe his ass with those 305 people, and Cruz plus Kasich would still be 200 delegates short.
Donald Trump is the GOP now, because all those GOP voters voted for him - see how that works? He owns what the "Repub Establishment" has been building for the last 30 fucking years.
And also too - driftglass and Blue Gal have been saying exactly that for a long long time.
BTW - Trump read The Snake at a rally back in January, and it's been rattling around in my head ever since, and this is what eventually came tumbling out: When a politician (or a silver-tongued devil of a salesman) spins a yarn obviously intending to warn you, there's a fair probability he's making a subconscious effort to tell you something about himself. And keep in mind, a guy like Trump is always thinking and talking about himself.
Jun 24, 2016
What's Up With That?
It's always the hair. These guys show up and they look weird as hell, and it's always something about their hair, and we're like - "What? Look at his hair, man. Anybody lookin' that goofy has to be pretty harmless, right?"
It should be a dead give-away by now, but we still fall for it -
every
fucking
time
Lupica Brings It
Mike Lupica on Morning Joe:
Coupla things:
Ari Melber: Dude - land the plane. If you have a point to make, then make the fuckin' point.
Nicole Wallace: Among the pimpiest of the pimps. She sat there and heard Lupica say it very plainly; and she knew exactly what Melber was trying to say; but she tries to position it as a matter of law; or nothing more than a way to use a political issue to get votes.
Which is where (I hope) the Dems should be able to find their leverage - the guns issue is about what we mean when we say "American Values". It's about being willing to make a conscious decision to change something in our lives - even if it means having to sacrifice something near and dear to us - in an effort to make life here in USAmerica Inc a little better for most of us, not to mention making life simply fucking possible for the 700 or 800 kids who get blown away every year because gutless wonders in the GOP think their NRA paychecks are more important than the lives of our kids.
Why are we allowing anybody to treat children like this - ours or anybody else's?
It's The Morality, Stupid.
hat tip = driftglass and Blue Gal
Today's GIF
I guess I always thought some guys were sitting around doodling and noodling and think-tanking or whatever, and they eventually worked it out because they were trying to work it out.
This makes me think there might've been a coupla random stoners just chillin' by the side of the road, watching the oxcart traffic and, having nothing else to do and nothing to distract them, they started to notice something and yada yada yada - wow - Math, motherfucker!
Today's Quote
“Consensual sex” is just sex. To say that implies that there is such a thing as “non-consensual sex”, which there isn’t. That’s rape. That is what it needs to be called. There is only sex or rape. Do not teach people that rape is just another type of sex. They are two very separate events. You don’t say “breathing swimming” and “non-breathing swimming”, you say swimming and drowning. --Anonymous
Jun 23, 2016
Today's Tweet
One of those 'N's in CNN stands for "news"
The other one stands for "not"
Brilliant
The other one stands for "not"
Did you know that one 'N' in CNN stands for "news" ?— Jason Hitchcock (@JasonHitchcock) June 23, 2016
The other one stands for "not" https://t.co/PcTByiR0K6 via
Brilliant
Today's Poe Wannabe
This guy is Poe's Law in reverse
...an Internet adage which states that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, parodies of extreme views will be mistaken by some readers or viewers for sincere expressions of the parodied views.
(CAUTION: I could feel the IQ points dropping off my intellect the longer I listened)
Yeah - and what kids today really need is a dose of good ol' American hardship. So let's go back to the 1950s when we could count on knowing that at least one of the neighbor kids would be killed or crippled by Polio or Whooping Cough or Scarlet Fever or a car crash because seatbelts are for pussies. Back when things were so much better here in God's Own USAmerica Inc, that the Death Rate for children was 10 times what it is now.
And no, of course he's not a raging bigot - he just liked it a lot better back when all those scary black people didn't have the same rights as the rest of us.
Fake Lord have mercy.
These assholes are serious about being deliberately stoopid, and this level of Weapons-Grade Dumfuckery just gets worse if we don't take every opportunity to stomp on it.
hat tip = Little Green Footballs
Jun 22, 2016
I'm So Un-PC
Sometimes, ya just gotta.
@SpeakerRyan Due respect, Mr Speaker - blow it out your ass. Publicizing your venal disregard for public safety is legit, and you know it.— Mike Roberts (@eVilleMike) June 23, 2016
Today's Anti-Trump
Lil Donny recently tried to make a case for being "good to the gays" or some such - the usual clumsy left-handed shit that falls out of his face every time he opens his yap. Anyway, he was trying to pander to LGBTQ, and this started making the rounds:
"If gay people felt the least bit friendly towards Trump, one of us would've already done something about his makeup, and fixed that ridiculous thing on top of his head."
Today's Tweet
Another American massacre took the lives of 49 innocent people in Orlando, Senate Republicans responded “So what?” pic.twitter.com/5VaEGqKFW3— ✯bennydiego✯ (@bennydiego) June 22, 2016
Jun 21, 2016
Today's Silly Sports Analogy
Donald Trump was born on 2nd base, got to 3rd because his dad paid the next two batters to wait for an inside pitch and lean into it, then wandered into foul territory beyond the dugout thinking he'd go ahead and make a pass at the Ball Girl since he was out there anyway, tripped over the tarp and was eventually tagged out by the slowest catcher anybody's ever seen play the game - and now he's bitchin' about how everybody's so spiteful and jealous he hit the double that they're all trying to keep him from scoring the winning run in a game his team is trailing by 8.
The Ablative Absolute
I've done this one before - or one like it.
The sentence structure of our 2nd amendment is important, and too many of us are either willing to be bamboozled by the Ammosexuals, or we're not willing to risk sounding soft and Librul on the issue of Gun Control.
Here's a bit I dug up in The Denver Post from a few years back:
The main argument about the amendment has always been a semantic one: What is meant? What is the intention? I use the present tense, because grammatical deconstruction is done in the here and now. We are not trying to divine intentions from our personal beliefs of what the Founders “stood for” or what they “believed.” The Founders are dead, but their words remain alive in the present, and their words, as well as their meticulous grammatical construction, leave no doubt as to their intentions.
Read these sentences:
“Their project being complete, the team disbanded.”
“Stern discipline being called for, the offending student was expelled.”
In both cases, the initial dependent clause is not superfluous to the meaning of the entire sentence: it is integral. The team disbanded because the project was complete; the student was expelled because his offense called for stern discipline. This causal relationship cannot be ignored. Reading the Second Amendment as “A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right to bear arms shall not be infringed,” clearly shows the same causal relationship as the example sentences; in this case, that the right to bear arms shall not be infringed because it is essential to maintaining a well-regulated militia.Words matter. What those words meant to the people who wrote them 230 years ago can give us a decent perspective on what they thought was important back then and what can be carried forward to us all these years later, but that was way back then and this is right here right now. We have to deal with what's going on today. We need laws that help us sort ourselves out now. We need lawmakers and industry leaders who can see past their own profits and venal ambitions. And we need everybody to stop fuckin' around. Get something done. Now.
Cuz guess what, chicken butt - a coupla hundred more dead Americans since Orlando:
(the interactive map crapped out, so I put up this link to Slate instead)
Jun 20, 2016
Trumpty Dumpty Sat On A Wall
We take you now to live coverage of the Donald Trump Campaign.
But it ain't over yet - not by a long shot.
After sending out a tweet Monday dancing on ex-campaign manager Corey Lewandowski's grave, top adviser Michael Caputo admitted the tweet was "too exuberant" and resigned his post with Donald Trump's campaign.
When news broke that Corey Lewandowski had been ousted from the campaign following months of discord with other top staffers and Trump's adult children, Caputo tweeted, "Ding dong the witch is dead!", an allusion to the famed "Wizard of Oz" villain.
They Seem Like Such Nice Girls
My darling daughter got me to watch the opening episode of the new season of OITNB last night. Here's the tune they chose to go with the closing credits. (NSFW)
Jun 19, 2016
Today's Tweet
We were trained for, and fully indoctrinated into this mess.
Barbie dolls and Transformers and GI Joe and all the rest.
Here, kids - learn about accessorizing - so we'll be able to trigger that response a little later on, when we figure out the next round of putting Competitive Consumerism together with SocioPolitical Paranoia in order to synthesize a more-easily manipulated electorate.
The Co-Marketing and Cross-Branding and the blending of Government with Commercial Interest (which basically is nothing short of Proto-Fascist positioning) has to be stomped on every chance anybody gets.
Barbie dolls and Transformers and GI Joe and all the rest.
Here, kids - learn about accessorizing - so we'll be able to trigger that response a little later on, when we figure out the next round of putting Competitive Consumerism together with SocioPolitical Paranoia in order to synthesize a more-easily manipulated electorate.
Finally, thank you democrats for taking a stand against gun violence. 💥🔫#Enough #filibuster pic.twitter.com/pZgGh1wp32— Skook (@skookerG) June 15, 2016
The Co-Marketing and Cross-Branding and the blending of Government with Commercial Interest (which basically is nothing short of Proto-Fascist positioning) has to be stomped on every chance anybody gets.
Jun 18, 2016
Today's Tweet
Coming next week: #DelegateRevolt protection line for Anti Trump delegates facing threats & harassment. pic.twitter.com/ZFVa7wWzfF— Stop Trump PAC (@StopTrumpPAC) June 17, 2016
How does this get any less weird now?
#NeverTrump
#DelegateRevolt
Rhetoric of violence
+ political fervor
+ guns
+ stoopid people in large groups
= What exactly?
I can't go Full Carlin and say I have no stake in the outcome so it's just fun knowing I have a front row seat at the freak show - but this is something I'll be watching with great interest.
With all the flips and turns and pivots and loop-dee-loops - there's some kinda crazy Judo going on here.
The View From Out There
Holding Hillary's feet to the fire is a political absolute.
We can fix this.
Dumb Donald
THANK YOU! #AmericaFirst pic.twitter.com/qp07UfnnjM— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 17, 2016
Seeing as how Trump has been polling behind Hillary by (sometimes) 20 points, maybe he's trying to say he's catching up? it's not as bad as they say? hey guys - I may be a complete bag-o-shit, but I'm only a coupla points behind that other slightly-less-a-bag-o-shit?
Politics is so friggin' weird sometimes.
I'm going to put up this screen shot, just in case Trump deletes the tweet.
Wait - What?
In what may be a clear signal that at least one of the Seven Seals has been broken, here's Charlie Sheen making a thoughtful and cogent observation.
Jun 17, 2016
Behold The CINO RINO Wars
Charge and counter-charge.
A squad of semi-behind-the-scenes Repubs are gearing up for something. Of course, we won't get to see what it is exactly for a while - if we get to see much of it at all.
Remember, these Trumpkinite bozos comprise the GOP's base. Reince Priebus et al have to figure out how to lose Trump without losing the assholes who follow guys like Trump around believing the basic bullshit that guys like Trump are always peddling.
And please - while we're at it - let's make no mistake here: Only some of Trump's voters are with him because he gives vent to the shittier angels of our nature. Most of them are willing to overlook an awful lot of the really bad shit because he's telling them they deserve not to have been fucked over by a system that took a giant dump on their heads and now expects them to say, "Thanks for the hat".
I'm not giving any of these bigoted assholes a pass - I'm just saying there's plenty of angst to go around, and people react to that shit in some pretty weird ways.
Richard Armitage, who was Bush’s deputy secretary of state during his first presidential term, told Politico in an article published Thursday that Trump “doesn’t appear to be a Republican, he doesn’t appear to want to learn about issues. So I’m going to vote for Mrs. Clinton.”
Armitage, who also served under President Ronald Reagan, isn’t the first Republican to throw his support behind Clinton.And we might even get to see a few Press Poodles up on their hind legs because Trump yanked WashPo's press pass, but also because they just really can't afford to have a tin-plated strutting martinet push 'em around. The cumulative standing of the American Press Corps is only marginally better than the unholy triumvirate of politicians, lawyers and lobbyists, plus a raging Herpes Outbreak all over your lip the day before prom.
Arne Carlson, the Republican former governor of Minnesota, told CityPages on Wednesday that “no human being in history has been more vetted” than Clinton while Trump “has taken campaigning to a new low.”
Mike Treiser, a former Mitt Romney staffer, said that “in the face of bigotry, hatred, violence, and small-mindedness, this time, I’m with her.”
As conservative writer Ben Howe put it, “I am a fiscal conservative and I am a social conservative. That will not change. But I will not vote for an egomaniacal authoritarian. Nope.”
Margaret Carlson:
Smoke is rising from the capitol dome and the first responders are missing in action. Instead of running into the building to save it from their presumptive nominee, Republicans are running away. Watch them scurry at the approach of a reporter wielding nothing more than a notebook or microphone asking about the latest outburst from Donald Trump. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's press briefings have been designated Trump-Free Zones. His No. 2, Senator John Cornyn, announced that he won't take any Trump questions until after the November election.So, Press Poodles - if you're any good at all; if you want any chance to redeem your-mostly-worthless-asses; if you wanna do the job you're supposed to do, then every goddamned one of you asks the Trump Questions every goddamned time any GOP politico steps in front of you. Every fucking one of you - Every.Fucking.Time.
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