...an Internet adage which states that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, parodies of extreme views will be mistaken by some readers or viewers for sincere expressions of the parodied views.
(CAUTION: I could feel the IQ points dropping off my intellect the longer I listened)
Yeah - and what kids today really need is a dose of good ol' American hardship. So let's go back to the 1950s when we could count on knowing that at least one of the neighbor kids would be killed or crippled by Polio or Whooping Cough or Scarlet Fever or a car crash because seatbelts are for pussies. Back when things were so much better here in God's Own USAmerica Inc, that the Death Rate for children was 10 times what it is now.
And no, of course he's not a raging bigot - he just liked it a lot better back when all those scary black people didn't have the same rights as the rest of us.
Fake Lord have mercy.
These assholes are serious about being deliberately stoopid, and this level of Weapons-Grade Dumfuckery just gets worse if we don't take every opportunity to stomp on it.
The man allegedly behind the largest mass shooting in American history purchased his weapons from a gun dealer and shooting range whose owner has in the past posted anti-Muslim and anti-President Obama comments on Facebook, the New York Daily News reported.
ATF Agent Sal van Susteren confirmed to the New York Daily News that accused Orlando shooter Omar Mateen purchased the weapons he used in the weekend's massacre at St. Lucie Shooting Center, not far from Mateen's apartment in Fort Pierce, Florida.
The New York Daily News reported that the store's owner, Ed Henson, an ex-NYPD officer, had posted on Facebook in December a meme that said, "F--- Islam, F--- Allah. F--- Muhammad. F--- the Koran. F--- people who support terrorism,” as well as a comment in November calling for Obama to be "handcuffed, removed from Office and charged with Treason and then publicly executed!"
No, Mr Henson, fuck you.
You helped amp up the atmosphere of hatred and paranoia, which you knew would make it that much easier for you to sell guns and ammo to weak-minded individuals who don't quite fully understand the deathly shitty game you're playing. This is on you and The NRA and all the other smarmy little grub worms in the Ammosexual Community who've created a dank and noxious underworld at the nexus of Religion and Politics and Unfettered Free Market Capitalism. Sorry not sorry if you feel I'm singling you out unfairly, Mr Henson - there's a group of 50 dead Americans who all probably felt the same way when Mr Mateen was killing them; for reasons you contributed to; with a gun you sold to him. Maybe you could keep that in mind next time you sell guns to somebody who just might be as big an asshole as you are. You wrote, "Fuck people who support terrorism" - so yeah - fuck you, Mr Henson.
None of this shit is hard to track down - and is there any better way to illustrate the likely chaos of a Trump White House?
But seriously - this is in keeping with Trump's assertion that his being sent to a Military Boarding School for Rich Legacy Pukes is the same as actual experience in a uniformed service.
The Dems are nearing the end of what looks like a coupla high school knuckleheads in a slap fight after 5th period out in the teacher's parking lot. Meanwhile, over at the cross-town rival's joint, the GOP seems to be having a hard time pretending there's not a full-blown meltdown going on.
Carly Fiorina came to us packaged as the perfect Lady Repub because she was the darling of the CEO Class for having "saved" Hewlett-Packard and blah blah blah, but gosh, it seems HP has decided not to be a sponsor for the Republican Convention. So, is Carly using her influence to keep HP away because she's grudging on Trump, or is she (& her GOP buddies) such poison to HP that they just can't stand the blow-back if they throw in? Either way, oops. (don't look for Coke or Microsoft either - oops and oops again)
There's a growing list of big-name Repubs who've declined invitations to Cleveland because they have to rinse out a few things and wash their hair. eg: John Kasich and Rob Portman - arguably the top 2 GOP guys in Ohio (you know, Ohio - the state HOSTING THE CONVENTION) - both have said they're not sure if they're gonna make it to Cleveland next month. 4 out of the last 5 GOP nominees won't be there. Wanna talk Rand Paul, Rick Snyder, Jeb Bush? Trump doesn't.
Glenn Beck has been suspended from his broadcasting spot on SiriusXM because he agreed with a guy he had on his show who all but said we might need a patriot to step up and assassinate Donald Trump.
Bloody Bill Kristol has burned through his list of people he's pushing hard to get up a 3rd party challenge for Trump - and he's down to like #5 on the list; a guy nobody's ever heard of - nobody outside of the Wingnut Welfare System anyway.
The Evangelicals are split - or maybe that should be "have split".
It's usually hard to tell where the US military stands on this stuff because they have to play it close enough to the vest that they don't do much thinking out loud and in public, but there's been a handful of comments telling me they're not looking forward to having to answer to complete bozos like the NeoCons again, and some of them (some big-deal retirees anyway) have very publicly expressed outrage in response to Trump's declarations of bringing back torture and saying the military will just have to suck it up and do whatever he says or else - nyah.
And oh yeah - Trump's campaign is broke. They don't have any money to put anything in place for a ground game; they can't buy ad time; they can't do much of anything until after he gets the nomination. The only thing he can do is keep blathering about whatever pops into to his little vacumm-packed skull and hope the Press Poodles keep lapping it up.
Ain't this fun? Anybody can be Da Preznint - don't take but some common sense and a little straight talk and hard work, and ... holy fuck, how did we get this fuckin' stoopid?
Limbaugh's really starting to flame out and spiral in - he's on the down-slope of the bell curve - so the topics of discussion (as well as the level of the discussion itself) have to get weirder and farther outin order to keep his audience of diehard dead-enders tuned in.
“Don’t doubt me on this. A lot of people think that all of us used to be gorillas, and they’re looking for the missing link out there. The evolution crowd. They think we were originally apes... If we were the original apes, then how come Harambe is still an ape, and how come he didn’t become one of us?”
Is there any other group these days that’s more unfairly maligned than white supremacists? We joke, of course, but that seems to be the argument that former Trump delegate and prominent white nationalist William Johnson made recently in an interview with Buzzfeed.
Specifically, Johnson talked about his harrowing but short-lived experience of being selected as a California delegate for Donald Trump at this year’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Although the Trump campaign quickly moved to distance itself from Johnson after his racist views had been revealed, Johnson had initially held out hope that he’d be embraced so that he could practice his brand of white nationalism in the open and without fear of stigma.
“I was naive,” Johnson told Buzzfeed. “I thought, Gee, I could participate in the electoral process just like everybody else. I thought I could participate and be productive and be a good example for the community and help promote my candidate, but that was not the case.”
Of course, the best way he could be a good example to the community is to not be a white nationalist, but this doesn’t seem to have dawned upon him.
Vince Foster "Pocahontas" I love our veterans, but I don't love 'em enough not to lie to them about that fund-raiser Fuck AGW and Climate Change Fuck NATO Birth certificate Nukes for everybody No brown people allowed Put women in jail for having abortions Those generals will waterboard people if I tell 'em to, or I'll get generals who will and on and on and on. With every new little bit of Stoopid, Trump builds up the DumFuck Coalition by collecting another few voters who reject Intellect and Clear Thought, and believe Outrageous Bullshit is the new Truth-Telling. And btw - Over-Promise and Under-Deliver is how Donald Trump has always done things. Very little of what he says he'll do is what he'll actually do. When you go to collect on what you think he owes you, he'll offer "pennies-on-the-dollar", and tell you it's because one of your friends - somebody else who's in on the deal - is fucking you over. The man has no soul and no honor.
A lot of times, we need validation. We need some reassurance that others think the same way we think about something. So just in case you weren't really sure about just how awful Donald Trump is; in case you needed any confirmation at all - that it's not just you - here's a handful of reactions from outside USAmerica Inc (and most of these are our friends):
Cuba
Ireland
British Prime Minister David Cameron called Trump’s anti-Muslim comments “divisive, stupid and wrong.”
Former Mexican President Vicente Fox called Trump a “hated gringo” and “ugly American,” and said that “I’m not going to pay for that fucking wall.”
Former Mexican President Felipe Calderón pointed out that Trump’s policy isn’t just offensive — it also doesn’t make sense. “It’s going to be completely useless,” Calderón said. “The first loser of such a policy would be the United States.”
Earlier this year, Trump said he’d consider halting oil sales from Saudi Arabia to the U.S. In response, Saudi Prince Turki al Faisal urged Americans to “make the right choice” and not vote for Trump. Turki, who is Muslim, also disavowed the presidential candidate’s Islamophobic comments.
Sigmar Gabriel, Germany’s economy minister and vice chancellor, said that Trump is “not only a threat to peace and social cohesion, but also to economic development.”
Saving the best for last:
That last one's from an Aussie ex-pat named Illma Gore, who filed a police report claiming she'd been punched in the face by a Trump supporter in LA, for having posted the picture on social media.
Sometimes, this joint is just too fuckin' weird for words.
Usually, on April 20th, I put up a post to be kinda jokey about The Hemp Rangers, or I'll try to link it back to the struggles of working people against the Corporatists, but every once in a while, I feel the need to hedge my bets against the whole after-life thing. So just in case Adolph is able to check in with us (this being his birthday and all), and because there's a sizable portion of Americans who seem to think Mr Hitler had some good ideas too - which makes them think it's OK to support the authoritarian crap spilling out of the GOP right now - I think it's important to take just a small moment to mock him (and them) unmercifully, and to make sure they all know how stoopidly childish their behavior is. (and of course, I do this in a stoopidly childish way to make sure they can understand it)
So Adolph was an extremely bad guy who did extremely bad things. And he didn't love his country; he actually had a deep sense of shame and loathing for himself and everybody else, and his whole political career was aimed at punishing the German people for being stoopid enough to follow The Kaiser, and then even stoopider for following him, and all he could think of was to burn the whole place down etc etc etc. But a Nickelback fan? Universal condemnation is in order - so yeah - fuck that guy.
Former Alaska governor and 2008 Republican vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin argued Thursday that Bill Nye is not actually a scientist.
“Bill Nye is as much a scientist as I am,” Palin said at an event in Washington, D.C., according to The Hill. “He’s a kids’ show actor; he’s not a scientist.”
Now, at first blush, I have to ask - does she really not know how to spell 'google' or what? Or is she just really sure that nobody in the audience is gonna check on anything, so she can Slap-Chop her way thru a few page-fuls of about 1500 randomly selected (and barely related words), knowing it doesn't fucking matter? So I just have to wonder - no, seriously now - I do. She's not really all that dumb. There's something going on in whatever it is she's using as a brain, but it's like she's internalized the process of Deliberate Ignorance to the point where she's convinced herself that being stoopid is how 'being smart' works. And maybe it is, in her own special way - because she's got a following. She has a group of people who practically hang on her every word. And you don't build that kinda loyalty just being dumb - even tho' (obviously) it helps a lot if you can get the crowds to believe you're as stoopid as you think they are. Or something. It makes my head hurt.
On the near-total, and at least borderline dangerous silliness of our GOP-Branded (and ConservaDem) "leaders" who're constantly flogging the Fear-Bishop, may I just ask, "Please, can you let us be a little less stoopid on this whole immigration/terrorism thing?"
I really do understand that an awful lot of Federal Spending is going into the pockets of an awful lot of "Security" contractors, who then turn around and graciously donate big piles of campaign dollars to your SuperPACs (purely out of the generosity of their souls and their deep abiding sense of patriotism and civic duty, of course) and completely unrelated to the fact that you're pimping the paranoia every fucking day - but c'mon, guys, maybe leadership is about not treating us like we're all stoopid so we can have a better chance to stop acting like were all stoopid.
Best Guess Last Year
Americans dead because of "terrorism": 30
Americans dead because of "accident": 110,000+ (top 5 preventable causes)
If we actually have people in Congress who really are concerned with spending tax dollars appropriately, and wisely, and with the intention of doing the most with the least, we'd have somebody standing up to tell us to stop losing our shit every time some faithless chickenshit asshole (hiding behind a mask because his 'god' is so great, and his cause is so just, and he's so fucking courageous) - every time that asshole threatens to kill us all with his big scary knife - from 6200 miles away; with a fucking knife.
They preach this phony Gospel of National Security and then pass the collection plate, and it works every time. We all hafta stop doin' that.
I wanna stop being part of the problem, but I can't helping thinking that part of the solution is to make sure more and more people have to look at what a 3rd rate burlesque show the GOP has become. And to remind the Repub voters that this is what they've been asking for all along. Trump, Cruz, Rubio - these are their guys.
Trying hard not to dismiss this as just a buncha cold spirit-sucking empty-hearted teeny-bop cunts at the mean girls table.
Politics-as-usual?
Or maybe massive unresolved daddy issues? That could easily be the case with Meghan McCain I guess.
When you slag a guy for tearing up a little while he's trying to get us to do something about too many dead kids - when you feel the need to stonewall against any effort to keep kids from being killed - you have no soul and no honor.
And it's not just because you have no soul and no honor. As it turns out, it's also because the boss can't afford anything to be done about the problem. And that's what I think is driving such cunt-ish behavior on air.
If you wanna know what's up with any problem here in USAmerica Inc, you have to look at who's currently benefiting from the problem, and/or who stands to profit from any proposed solution for that problem.
And more importantly, since we're talkin' politics now, you have to understand that solutions for these problems are not actually allowed - REPEATING: solutions are not allowed. There's too much money and too many careers of too many very powerful people at stake.
It doesn't matter what we're scrappin' about - it can be Abortion or Guns or Taxes or Poverty or Schools or Prisons or any other 'problem'. As long as we're fighting, we're fueling the revenue streams that keep the fat cats fat.
The people who're making the decisions on what we see and hear over the air or on cable; what we read online; what emails we receive asking for another 3 bucks to help in the fight for blah blah blah - these are either currently wealthy powerful people, or they're people looking to become wealthy and powerful by monetizing the fight for whatever.
Mike's First Law of Career Self-Nurturing: Anybody with any prospect of enjoying even a relatively low degree of success will never ever EVER try to work himself out of that job.
We have a News Industry that went from Public Service to Cost Center to Profit Center to Money Mill - there is no content available on Fox or MSNBC or WashPo or your local FARMNet station that isn't programmed to push somebody's buttons and move them to send a generous donation to their newfound favorite cause.
Seems like the only thing we manufacture in this country anymore is this bullshit high-school-fuck-around drama. But hey - business is booming, so it's all good.
Remember when we weren't all so fuckin' stoopid we couldn't recognize a hoax when we saw one? Click like if you remember.
Oops. So, OK - we've been falling for this shit for a long time. But hey - click Share if you agree we could be just a tad more diligent about keeping our heads out of our asses.
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (AP) — Alabama's reigning Teacher of the Year says she has resigned after state officials told her she's unqualified to teach in her fifth-grade classroom because of certification issues. Veteran teacher Ann Marie Corgill said Alabama Department of Education officials recently informed her that she was not qualified despite her well-documented accomplishments. She said she grew tired of trying to prove herself, prompting her to submit a letter of resignation, dated Tuesday and obtained by Al.com. In the letter, Corgill cites her confusion.
"After 21 years of teaching in grades 1-6, I have no answers as to why this is a problem now, so instead of paying more fees, taking more tests and proving once again that I am qualified to teach, I am resigning," Corgill wrote.
Corgill has Class A and B certifications to teach primary school through third grade, according to certification records provided by The Alabama Department of Education. Corgill said she started this school year at Birmingham's Oliver Elementary School teaching second grade, but shortly after the semester began, she was moved to a fifth-grade classroom.
In a news release Thursday, the state Department of Education said it "did not determine Ms. Corgill was not qualified. However, when an inquiry was made, the department reported that her current teaching certificate covers primary grades through Grade 3. This does not carry with it a requirement for resignation."
But Corgill — a 2015 National Teacher of the Year finalist — holds National Board Certification to teach children ages 7 to 12, a group that would include most fifth-graders. That certification is valid until November 2020, according to the National Board Certification directory.
Birmingham City Schools spokeswoman Chandra Temple said Thursday that the district is working on the matter and had no further comment.
Somebody like Ms Corgill should be pulling down 6 figures, and she should be working at a school that looks like a 5-star resort. If we're gonna demand layers of certification and years of continuing education - pretty much the same as we demand of various other professionals - then we can sure as fuck pay them like we pay those other professionals. Cuz, btw, where do we think all those big-deal professionals get their start? Anybody believe they just pop up outa the ground? No - they all started out in some version of an elementary school where a Ms Corgill takes a room filled with potential future cell block slugs and turns them into solid citizens who might give us a shot at making this joint a slightly better world to live in if we can just get our national head out of our national ass long enough to think in terms of investment instead of always falling for the bullshit of "Gubmint's too big and costs too much".
(Update: Prob'ly not a real tweet - couldn't find it anyway) "Conservatives" are always on about "they're coming to take our jobs!" And the Un-Crazies have so far only rebutted by saying things like, "they're only taking jobs we don't wanna do anyway", and "what fuckin' jobs you even talkin' about?". Here it is:
These Trumpkins (et al) - are they thinking they can't compete? These awesomely awesome Americans just aren't up to it? And so what they really reallyreally want is for Da Gubmint to do something about it? Is that what I'm hearing?
Bristol Palin has her panties in a wad - no wait, that's a bad way to start something with her - well, actually it seems like that's how it's started with her at least twice - no wait, that's not good either. We don't slut-shame here. We like sluts here. No, wait. Dammit. Uhmm - never mind. Look, Bristol Palin isn't really worth the time or the effort, so let's just sit back and enjoy some Garfunkel & Oates.
The AP said it’s unclear how many Mormons are buying into the end-of-the-world prophecy, but leaders of the church were concerned enough to issue the statement assuring them that the world is not about to end.
Preparedness is one of the tenets of the Mormon faith, which believes that a period of disasters and tribulations will precede the second coming of Jesus Christ. Many Mormon-built homes in Utah and other southwestern states feature special built-in shelves for rice, flour, canned goods and other nonperishable supplies.
The pronouncement by the church, said Patrick Mason — chair of Mormon studies at Claremont Graduate University in California — indicates that fear of the End Times must be fairly pervasive among Mormon families if church elders felt the need to address it.
“For it to filter up to that level and for them to decide to send out a policy letter means that they felt there was something they needed to tamp down on,” said Mason.
Sometimes I wonder why you'd spend time or effort telling these pea-brains to get ready for the shit when ya gotta know you'll have to talk 'em down off the ledge when they get all worked up and thinking the shit you've been "warning" them about is here and real and happening. But then I remember this is all part of the big bamboozle anyway, so it's just the cost of doin' bidness. These particular believers are so thoroughly hornswoggled they're wearing magic underwear. So I'm thinking it comes as no surprise to church execs when they hear the faithful are willing to buy into some bullshit about the moon. And of course it's easily debunkable, but why would the rubes not believe it when they've been very well taught to be totally committed to staying ignorant and superstitious? Satan's greatest trick was convincing us that the people who insist that Satan exists will deal honestly with us if we just give them enough money.
And I don't really have to make this last little connection for anybody, right?
OVERGAARD, Ariz. (AP) -- A 23-year-old Phoenix man is in critical condition after shooting himself in the head while trying to show that a handgun could not be fired while he had the safety mechanism engaged.
The Navajo County Sheriff's Office said Christen Reece fired his handgun Wednesday while shooting with six other people outside Overgaard in eastern Arizona.
Friends took Reece to the local fire department, where he was treated before being airlifted to a Scottsdale hospital for surgery.